The formula is excellent tonight, sir.

Waiter Nephew! He came at 3:45AM. 8 pounds, 7 ounces and  21 inches long. Mother, baby, and wiped out father are doing well!


The formula is excellent tonight, sir. — 130 Comments

  1. You MUST mean “wiped out mother” right? Congrats!! He’s a handsome little munchkin.

    P.S. I just started reading your blog about 2 months ago. Finally just caught up on all your archives, spending every stolen minute at work devouring each entry. I think I’m in love with you Waiter. Or, at least, the version of you that I’ve created in my head. De-lish…

  2. Big congratulations Waiter!

    I’ve been an uncle for 5 years now, and it’s alot of fun.

    Our first baby showed up at Christmas, and my brother-in-law was stoked about being an uncle for the first time, too.

    There’s something about the ‘uncle’ thing that means you just get to be fun, without worrying about being a responsible adult. I’ve discovered that you only need to reserve that crap for your own kids.

  3. Wiped out mother is more like it! Having given birth twice in less than two years and expecting to do it again in December, I know whereof I speak.


  4. Congratulations to all. Expecially the baby! Of course at this stage of life he still looks like Winston Churchill but that will change. Hopefully this one won’t run around the tables for a living. (Just kidding!)

  5. Congrats. I will never have a Niece or a Nephew, seeing as my one brother and one sister both decided to remove themselves from the breeding pool.

  6. Congrats Uncle Waiter ! May today be the first day of a lifetime spent showering your nephew with love, friendship, advice, and all the “fun” presents that cause parents to cringe. Just don’t forget to include batteries if the toys require them – the heavy duty ones, that make toys last a long time. Kids really appreciate it, even if their parents don’t. :)

  7. The formula is excellent, but May I recommend Mom’s Special Reserve. Always fresh.

    Congratulations, Waiter. He’s beautiful.

  8. welcome to the world waiter nephew! we’re so glad you’ve joined us tonight! congrats to the wiped out parents. i’ve been the “fun” aunt for 20 plus years, you’ll love being an uncle, it’s great.

  9. What a handsome young man…

    Congratulations! You will love being an uncle. I have been a proud aunt to a nephew for 5 years now and he is absolutely my pride and joy. And, best of all, he goes home when he gets whiny!

  10. Uncle Waiter!!! Congratulations! I have three nephews myself, and I’m pretty sure nephew-hugs are the best things ever.

  11. Congrats, Waiter!

    I expect the MOTHER would be the one really wiped out. How many hours of labor (plus the nine months of carrying the baby in the first place), giving birth, etc?

  12. Congratulations, Waiter! I’ll bet he’s the most beautiful baby you’ve ever laid eyes on.

    My sister just gave birth to my first nephew this past Saturday, and I am astonished at how much I loved him at first sight.

  13. The “formula”????

    Booo! What about Mama’s milk or are her boobies broken?

    Cute kid, he’d be a lot healthier, smarter & happier with human milk.

  14. Welcome to Uncledom, Waiter!!

    I have just spent the last few weeks ignoring my work to read every last one of your entries (alllll of them because they were interesting). It was worth it. The book is next on the list of things to do ;)

    Train him well :D

  15. Congratulations, Waiter and family. I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now and it’s been an amazing ride. Kudos to you for your book, as well.

    To “Christy” above, please do not turn this happy occasion into a preacher’s pulpit. We all know the benefits of mother’s milk. However, yes, some people’s “boobies are broken”. Or perhaps it is her personal choice. Or perhaps it was simply a witty Waiter-quip (which I find much more likely the case. I doubt he has quizzed the mother on the usage of her breasts.).Regardless, this is neither the place nor time.

  16. Seriously Waiter, a post like this is not like you. First time you’ve posted a pic. Shameless Advertising, anyone?

    Book release is a comin’!

  17. To “anonymous”…(how’d you come up with that one?)

    It is always the place and time to point out that artificial milk is inferior, for I firmly believe that it is every human baby’s right to have human milk.

    I’m hopeful that waiter was just trying to come up with a catchy title, but one can never be sure.

    I highly doubt that my comment will make this special time any less happy.

  18. Congrats waiter! He is beautiful!

    And to christy, I agree w/ anonymous, please leave your holier then thou, thoughtless comments to yourself. Some of us mommys can’t breast feed. That doesent make you or your baby any better then mine!

  19. Hey Mull – Waiter just had a baby at the restaurant – duh! Cant you see the kitchen and other waiter in the background of the picture?

    What the hell kind of name is Mull anyway? Canadian?

  20. Hey Dick – cant you and Mull get anything right? This is a picture of somebody’s uncle as a baby, and they probably brought the picture to Waiter’s restaurant. YOu guys sure are dumb. If Mull is Canadium, that explains it, but I am not sure about you.

  21. Hey Bud – I’m Australian, and dont mess with me or my nationality. And I’m also an unccle to my brother’s wife. You’re probably one of those slow people.

  22. Aww, waiter, You have a very cute nephew on your hands. I am an aunt to 2 beautiful girls myself (10 and 5 yrs), and I wouldn’t trade being an aunt for anything in the world. There is nothing like times when you haven’t seen them in a bit and they tackle you to the floor because they love you more than you knew anyone could. And you love them back just as much :) Look forward to the day when that little guy can do that . . . in the meantime you can just hold him and cuddle him.

  23. Dick: dont you even know what an unccle is? If you’re Australian, that explains everything, you guys having lost the big one (WW2).

  24. Hey Bud, we Austalians didn’t lose WW2 you idiot, it was Austria which merged with Germany. And I dont think other Canadiums appreciate your insults. What would you say if somebody you didn’t like said something about Mexicans? They’re nice people but probably wouldn’t like you.

  25. Bud – don’t you know your history? Australia,along with the other Allies, was on the winning team in WW2. And “uncle” has one “c”. And no, this is not a criticism of the people on the other team – my family are all immigrants from both teams.And no, I don’t think war is a sport…just in case anyone is choosing to be offended.

    Cute baby!Make sure you give your brother and his partner a big hug.

  26. Hey Elste – I know my history thank you. I dont agree with you though – war is a team sport. One guy cannot win by himself – that is tennis. The world should know that Australia is a great open country for tennis too, not what guys like Dick and Woolly Fundrip say. And about Mull’s concern about Mexicans in Canada, I think Mexicans are fine people, regardless of if they’re in Canada or not.

  27. Hey Bud, quit talking about me like that. I didn’t say anything about the Australian open. Dont think I’ve forgotten what you said about my Mexican friends either – everybody knows what kind of lunatic you are – Mexicans are race car fans too.

  28. How beautiful! The birth of a baby is such a joyous occassion. Congrats, waiter! And congrats to the parents. Don’t spoil him too rotten:)

  29. Some of the commenters in this thread are a bit nuts. This is about Waiter’s family and a lovely new arrival, not a chance to lash out at others.

    Congratulations to you and your family, Waiter. No need to apologize for the title.

    And though I don’t think it’s the right place to hold such a discussion, I do agree with Sharon. It’s great that mothers today, thanks to the technological advances of this day and age, can make choices about how to feed their babies.

  30. I was born severly allergic to milk. The only thing I could have was soy milk, and in 1977, my parents had to pay ungodly prices for it. They would have much preferred to go natural just on the standpoint of cost benefit!

  31. AWWWWWWWW!! The sweetest thing….

    Does every hospital in the entire world have those same baby blankets in their maternity wards???

  32. Congrats Waiter.
    Now if only there were some software to manipulate that baby’s face to form a possible sketch of his uncle’s (the waiter’s) face!

    Your cover may be blown waiter!

  33. 36 hours of sleeplessness for your brother? too bad so sad.

    his partner was awake for just as long (likely longer) as the lower half of her body literally exploded. and five minutes later? she was expected to breastfeed the newcomer (whether she wanted to or not), and shortly thereafter was compelled to welcome visitors and exclaim about how blessed she feels when really her catheter is embarrassing and uncomfortable and she just wants to close her eyes for twelve seconds.

    but wait! there’s the baby, crying for another nursing session! where’s daddy? oh right. visiting hours are over.

    congrats to your brother, but dude, have some respect for the woman who grew, nurtured, and painfully delievered his baby!

  34. Hey # 16, Jay; you could become an uncle anyhow, remember, accidents cause people!

    and # 67: Uh, Australia vs the rest of us? The Aussie just said he was “unccle to his brother’s wife”. (Doesn’t he mean he’s from the southern part of the U.S of A.???) Or is he his own grandpa? I’m confused.

    And Waiter; that baby is adorable; they say babies often look like their aunt or uncle, so that’s probably why he’s so cute. His mother and father should thank you. Er, um, hmmmm. Better let that one alone….

  35. Awww! He’s a cutie, Waiter. Do you think he likes older women? I have a 3 week old niece who’s a knockout!

  36. Sorry – meant to say – Great Niece! Being an aunt to 2 grown nieces has been a blast! So much better than having my own! You get to do all the fun stuff and give ‘em back when you get tired or they get whiney!

  37. I’ve been an aunt since 24th Dec last year and I’ve just been to the naming ceremony of her, it’s wonderful – so congrats to all. Life is so wonderfully precious. I hope you enjoyed my easter present :-)

  38. You will make a great uncle, look at your training.

    Demanding,loud and insistent on your attention no matter if you are doing something else and that is just some of your customers so a baby will be a walk in the park.

    What a wee sweetie !!!!

  39. Ah! Children. The meaning of life.

    On a paranoid note: hope the birth time and weight are not sufficient to identify waiter nephew from publicly available records.

  40. Understandably father is wiped out, but come on waiter. That baby was carried in mother’s body for 9 months and then she had to birth that sucker! Talk about being wiped out.

  41. Congratulations on becoming a new Uncle!!

    I’m sure mom was more wiped out than dad, but let’s not give her credit for her physical feat ;)

  42. Congrats on the new baby in the family, aren’t they precious? Make sure you spoil the parents just a little, their life just got flipped upside down and Mom’s like presents too. For Dad try finding a copy of Bill Cosby’s “Fatherhood”, I found it one year at a second-hand store and all the Dads I’ve shared it with love the warning.

    For Mom… I know you cook so maybe you could whip up some soups and sauces she can defrost easily for quick meals when she’s tired. A nice set of family-size servings of frozen spaghetti sauce is always welcome around here. All you have to do is reheat and eat.

    Hugs and loves to the new nephew!

  43. Awwww! Good for you guys. He’s storing away some nuts for the winter in those rosy little cheeks!

  44. Right now I wish # 74 had all our Mexicans up in Canada.. I live in Texas . I like your blog. Cute kid too. You need to get married and have one.

  45. Thank goodness other posters jumped on this early.. I’ll add also:

    Boo hoo for the “wiped out father”.

    I’m sure mom is perky enough for a marathon.

  46. Jerk off. I am quite SURE that 36 sleepless hours is FAR preferable to squeezing a baby out of ones body. You are an asswipe. Typical male.

  47. That wiped out father thing is really getting on my nerves…I’m sure he’s tired but nowhere near as tired as the mother. You should really fix that thing.

  48. Many sincere congratulations to you and the family. To the people having a go at the “wiped out father” part, get a grip you obviously have never been a father, I have and while the woman is obviously doing all the work the father is the one panicking, running around organising friends and family, keeping on the phone and having to watch the love of his life go through quite a bit of pain and suffering, not a nice experience for the father. I’ve had 2 gorgeous kids and to be quite honest watching the 2nd come through was the worst even though I knew what to expect.

    Always love your posts Waiter, keep up the good work.

  49. Oh I know this is many years late – but my baby was born this year in OH, and she had exactly the same newborn blanket – even the same colours! I think it might’ve been the same shirt too.

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