by waiter | Jun 7, 2005 | Uncategorized
Many thanks to Sofia and the students and faculty at NYU for writing about me in their Digital Journalism Class magazine “THISISNOTABLOG.” You can read about my interview here. Thanks again guys!
by waiter | Jun 6, 2005 | Uncategorized
“Hey Arlene, thanks for the shit you put me through this morning,” Fluvio growls. “What did I do now?” Arlene, our very pregnant waitress, exclaims. “You added two bucks to a tip and the customer called to complain.” “I did not!” Arlene says angrily. Fluvio hands her...
by waiter | Jun 3, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m driving to work when a wave of nausea hits me. I break into a cold clammy sweat. Every bump and swell in the road threatens to propel the contents of my stomach on to the dashboard. I have to throw up NOW. I pull my car into a gas station. “Where’s your bathroom?”...
by waiter | Jun 1, 2005 | Uncategorized
Its five minutes till my shift starts when I realize I’ve forgotten my tie. I duck into the thrift store run by some old church ladies down the block. It’s a good spot to grab replacement neckwear in a pinch. “We’re closing in five minutes!” the harridan manning the...
by waiter | May 27, 2005 | Uncategorized
My friend Lana and I are enjoying cocktails at Nice Matin on West 79th. After dealing with crazed yuppies all week it’s nice to sit down and be taken care of for a change. The place serves Mediterranean French cuisine. Good. I’m sick of Italian food. After we finish...
by waiter | May 26, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m standing outside. I hear a bird chirping. I look down. It’s is a baby sparrow. His song is fearful. A weakling, he’s been tossed out of the nest. His siblings watch from above. “Better you than me,” they seem to be saying. I reach down and scoop him up. He’s quiet...
by waiter | May 26, 2005 | Uncategorized
“I love you,” the woman says dreamily. “No, I love you more,” the man replies. “How much more?” she giggles reaching across the table to take his hand. “More than anything in the world,” he sighs. It’s way past closing. The Bistro’s empty. The staff is waiting to...
by waiter | May 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
Anyone who wants a table a half hour before closing is an asshole. If a customer never says “Please” or “thank you” during the course of the meal you’re getting 15% or less. If a customer pays with the Discover Card – your tips probably gonna be bad. If the customer...
by waiter | May 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
“Waiter what would you recommend? The swordfish or the tuna?” the redhead on table twenty three asks me. “The swordfish is excellent tonight,” I offer. “How thick is the swordfish?” Red asks looking up. Our eyes meet. There’s a spark of electricity between us. We both...
by waiter | May 22, 2005 | Uncategorized
“Waiter, has any one ever told you that you look like Elton John?” “No sir,” I say looking down my nose at the customer. “I mean a young Elton John,” the man adds quickly, realizing I’m not flattered by the comparison. “That’s a new one on me sir,” I reply icily. “I...
