by waiter | Apr 26, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s a seven o’clock on beautiful Monday night. The Bistro’s half full and we only have a few reservations. But, after being driven indoors by a rainy weekend, the Yuppies will probably want to bust out of their Williams Sonomanized cocoons so they can narcotize the...
by waiter | Apr 22, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Friday afternoon and the Bistro’s dead. I’m outside catching some sun. I read somewhere that you need fifteen minutes of solar exposure to get your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin D. Without enough you run the risk of developing everything from...
by waiter | Apr 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
The young couple on table 26 is finishing dessert. They’re on what I think’s a first date. Things seem to be going well. The girl’s never taken her eyes off the guy. Her body language suggests she’s really into him. The guy’s body language suggests he can’t wait to...
by waiter | Apr 12, 2006 | Uncategorized
Louis and I are lounging by the front window reading newspapers and drinking espresso. It’s early and we’re not expecting customers for an hour. While Louis skims the Daily News I leaf through the NY Post. I’ve been giving The Times a rest lately. Oh, don’t get me...
by waiter | Apr 10, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s closing time. The restaurant’s almost empty. My last table’s paying the bill. The cooks are breaking down the kitchen. All the other waiters have gone home. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m exhausted and a post shift martini’s calling my name. The door...
by waiter | Apr 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m in the kitchen struggling to whip up a skim milk cappuccino. I need a caffeine jolt. Normally I’d make cappuccino with whole milk. But since I’m watching my cholesterol I’ve been making adjustments great and small. I stare glumly at the limpid froth in the...
by waiter | Apr 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night. The first round of tables is seated and eating. That means there’s a lull until the dessert madness begins. Everyone takes a breather. I’m standing by the beverage dispenser hydrating myself with club soda. Saskia, one of the new busgirls, comes...
by waiter | Mar 31, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s one o’clock and I’m covering a lunch shift for a sick waiter. The Bistro’s empty. As I’m gazing out the front window, carefully evaluating the spandex covered derriere of a passing jogger babe, the front door chimes. Damn, always when I’m busy. I walk over to the...
by waiter | Mar 29, 2006 | Uncategorized
This piece about Waiter Rant was in today’s Chicago Tribune. Enjoy! What your waiter is saying about you By Jessica Berthold Tribune Newspapers: The Morning Call Published March 29, 2006 Waiter Rant (waiterrant.net) reads like a sitcom script about life in a busy New...
by waiter | Mar 25, 2006 | Uncategorized
Table 26 finishes their meal and signals for the check. “I’ll pay for dinner,” the man says, taking the checkbook out of my hand. “No, ” his date protests, “Let’s split it.” “I’ve got it.”...
