by waiter | Sep 3, 2006 | Uncategorized
Here are the top ten quotes from the lovely customers I had the pleasure of serving this Labor Day Weekend. 1) I want Diet Coke in my Absolut. Not a Diet Coke and Absolut. 2) I want a Cosmo. Not a lot of fruity stuff! And don’t be cheap with the vodka! 3) This...
by waiter | Aug 31, 2006 | Uncategorized
“What’s up with Table 2?” Holly, the hostess asks me. “What about table 2?” “They didn’t want to sit in your section.” “Why not?” “I don’t know why.” I look over at Table 2. A cute brown-haired woman and her boyfriend are intently studying their menus. Oh shit. I...
by waiter | Aug 29, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Monday morning and I’m lying in bed. Raindrops clatter on the second hand air conditioner sticking out my bedroom window. I open one eye. The light pushing though the curtains is heavy and gray. Outside I hear car tires sluice through wet asphalt. I glance at the...
by waiter | Aug 22, 2006 | Uncategorized
Well, not exactly………. I’m going to be on National Public Radio’s “Talk of the Nation” program this Thursday around 3:15 PM(EST). The topic is one of my favorites – tipping. It’s a live show so don’t hold me to the exact time. You might want to tune in a little early....
by waiter | Aug 21, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s late at night. The Bistro’s closed. The busgirls are putting up the chairs. The kitchen crew’s mopping the floors. I’m in the back counting the evening’s take. There isn’t much to count. The few customers we had were frugal eaters and bad tippers. It was not a...
by waiter | Aug 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
My roommate and I watched the horror movie “Final Destination 3” last night. For those of you unfamiliar with the series, it’s about a group of teenagers who narrowly escape getting killed in a horrible accident. But Death, refusing to be cheated, hunts down and kills...
by waiter | Aug 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Sunday night. The dinner rush is over. I’m reconciling my tips when Saroya comes up to me. “Look at this,” she says, holding a business card in front of my face. I look at the card. It reads “PICK A NUMBER 1 2 3 4.” “What’s this?” I ask. “The customers on table...
by waiter | Aug 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
Normally I find Al Fresco diners annoying. But one of my favorite couples snags an outside table and requests me as their waiter. Since the woman’s gorgeous I’m happy to oblige. “Good evening,” I say, cheerfully handing them menus. “Nice to see you again.” “Nice to...
by waiter | Aug 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night and Beth looks like shit. “What’s the matter with you?” I ask. “You look like somebody beat you up.” “Gee, thanks for the compliment,” Beth sneers. “You trip the light fantastic last night?” “Huh?” “Partying?” “Oh yeah,” Beth replies, waving her...
by waiter | Aug 7, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s late afternoon and the thermometer reads a pleasant 85 degrees. The only problem? That’s the temperature inside the Bistro. “Why does the A/C decide to crap out now?” Beth, one of our servers, wails. “Today of all days.” “Because it’s a hundred degrees out,”...
