by waiter | May 27, 2007 | Uncategorized
As some of you may have noticed, Waiter Rant was out of commission for the past several days. Somebody hacked into my site and inflicted enough damage to necessitate a total shutdown. The rational part of me knows that some 14 year old kid probably did this to get mad...
by waiter | May 15, 2007 | Uncategorized
Its the tail end of the lunch shift. I pretend to watch the office girls walking past the front window as I eavesdrop on two of my customers. I know that’s not very polite but its an interesting conversation. Besides, Im bored. “I don’t know,”...
by waiter | May 11, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s Thursday night. The headwaiter’s stuck me in a three table section by the men’s room. The few customers I have are low spending college students pissed off that they’re sitting by the toilet. They probably feel like they’re being...
by waiter | May 1, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s a drizzly grey afternoon. I’m standing in a five foot deep by five foot wide hole in the ground. A man is standing above me holding a pickaxe and smoking a cigarette. “Dig you bastard,” he says menacingly. “Dig.” “I think...
by waiter | Apr 30, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s eleven fifteen on Saturday morning. Julie and I are sitting on a park bench waiting for the restaurant to open. Javier was supposed to unlock the doors at 9:30 but hes missing in action. The busboys and kitchen staff are milling around the front entrance...
by waiter | Apr 22, 2007 | Uncategorized
I’m at the dog park with Buster, my joint custody pooch. Sitting on a park bench and drinking coffee out of a Styrofoam cup, I’m shooting the breeze with Mike, a retiree and fellow dog owner, enjoying a glorious spring afternoon. Overhead the sun burns...
by waiter | Apr 19, 2007 | Uncategorized
“Hello and welcome,” I greet my new table, a prosperous looking couple in their fifties. “And how are you this evening?” “What are the specials?” the woman says, not gracing me with eye contact as she rummages through her purse....
by waiter | Apr 16, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s a rainy, miserable Sunday night. I’m watching a chocolate lava cake as it strains and bubbles under the electromagnetic ministrations of the dessert stations industrial strength microwave. You have to be careful when nuking prefab desserts. If you let...
by waiter | Apr 12, 2007 | Uncategorized
Addendum: There’s a video for this story. Go to this link and click on “Dial Up/Broadband” at the top of the page to see the video. (Must have Real Player) It seems the managers at Telepan, an eatery on the Upper West Side, are being accused of...
by waiter | Apr 4, 2007 | Uncategorized
I’m at the gym doing lat pull downs. The battery in my iPod’s gone dead so I’m forced to listen to the conversations around me. Normally I try and make the gym my dead zone, a place where I shut off the tape recorder in my mind, dumb down my sensitivities, and focus...
