Tu Est Petrus?

I am what could be generously called a lapsed Catholic. But even if I become an atheist Buddhist with Zoroastrian tendencies, I am and will forever be a former seminarian. Even though I was never ordained, the experience left an indelible mark on my soul nonetheless....

Huff Post Live

I participated in a fun panel on tipping at Huff Post Live. You can find it archived here. Enjoy. Man I look pasty!

The Other

It’s a crystal clear Saturday afternoon and I’m at party in my friend’s new house. An expensive affair of glass and wood, it stands glorious and serene on a vast plain. “My nearest neighbor is ten miles away,” my friend crows as I offer him the obligatory bottle of...

Waiter Rant on Sale!

I just noticed that Amazon is selling the paperback edition of Waiter Rant for $10.19! A steal! Sorry I haven’t been around much. Things are very busy over here! Back soon.

Room for Debate

I wrote a small Op-ed about entitled parents and restaurants for the Room for Debate section of the New York Times. Enjoy! Let the hate mail begin!

Razor

It’s Monday morning and I’m in the bathroom performing my daily ablutions. After taking a hot shower with lots of soap, shampoo and conditioner, I towel off and go to the sink to shave. Not my favorite thing. Today, however, I’m trying something different. After...

Crazy Sexy

I need to refill my Lipitor prescription so I walk into the local Rite Aid with Ann in tow. “I’ll check my blood pressure while you’re waiting,” Ann says. Ann’s blood pressure is perfect, but she has a strange fetish. She likes the crushing feeling of a blood pressure...

You Must Be This Young to Ride This Ride

It’s Tuesday night and I’m walking through the Meadowland’s State Fair with my girlfriend, Ann. The weather is cool and breezy and attendance is sparse. That’s good because I won’t have to wait to get on a ride. And man, I love amusement park rides. “So what ride do...