All the News That’s Fit to Print

My daughter is three, broke and unemployed. Time for her to pull her weight. “You now have a job,” I told my daughter one fine Sunday morning. “Job?’ she said, bewildered. “Go get Daddy’s newspaper. It’s at the end of the driveway.” Natalie’s face lit up in a...

Challenger

The car rental counters at LAX are the busiest in the world. Luckily for me, my wife and I arrived during a slow time. “You go get the car,” my wife said as we got off the shuttle bus. “I’ll get the luggage.” Since my wife was in L.A. for a convention, she had brought...

Always and Forever

“Wake up sleepy head,” I said to my daughter, Natalie. “What? What?” she said, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “It’s time for your special treat,” my wife said. “It’s not my birthday,” Natalie, said. “It doesn’t always have to be your birthday to get a treat,” I...

The Gift of Hollywood Boulevard

My wife and I were walking down Hollywood Boulevard, heading towards Musso & Frank Grill for a drink. In Manhattan, looking up at Gotham’s skyscrapers marks you as a tourist. Here, looking down at the sidewalk is a surefire indicator you’re from out of town....

Good Friday

I was sitting in a McDonald’s with my nephew when he asked me what time it was. “What grade are you in?” I asked. “Third,” he replied. “So, you know how to read a clock, right?” “Uh uh.” I took off my watch and handed it to him. “So, what time is it?” Ethan stared at...

Get Off the Fucking Plane

By now you’ve all probably heard about United Airlines’ public relations/customer service   fiasco. If you didn’t here it is in a nutshell – a plane was overbooked, they had to get a flight crew of four on board, they offered $800 in vouchers for volunteers to...

Blood From a Stone

A while back, a man came into my office to donate some toys. “They’re all kind of rusted and beat up,” he told me. “But you can have them.”  I didn’t want any rusty toys – and neither would any of the children my office helps – so I told him to donate them to an...

The Today Show

I was on The Today Show this Wednesday. Here’s the clip if you missed it. Many thanks to the producers for having me back on!

Rendering Judgment

Yesterday my daughter toddled into the house after pre-school and issued her usual demand. “Peppa TV Daddy! Peppa TV!” My daughter is totally in love with Peppa Pig, a children’s cartoon from Great Britain.  Much to the amusement of her teachers she’s watched so much...

Eye of the Needle

A few weeks ago, a father called me and asked if his children could volunteer at my food pantry. “I was raised with nothing,” he told me. “Then I got lucky and made a lot of money. Now I live in a big house in a Richburg. My kids want for nothing. But that’s not how...