by waiter | Jun 8, 2018 | Uncategorized
Anthony Bourdain’s book Kitchen Confidential inspired me to write my blog Waiter Rant. When that blog became a book in 2008, Anthony provided a very gracious front cover blurb which undoubtedly boosted the book’s success. I owed him a great deal. My wife...
by waiter | May 31, 2018 | Uncategorized
Recently, televangelist Jesse Duplantis proclaimed that God told him he needed to purchase a 57 million dollar Dassualt private jet to help carry out his ministry. The conversation allegedly went like this. GOD: Jesse, you wanna come up where I’m at?...
by waiter | May 23, 2018 | Uncategorized
I parked my car in front of my daughter’s school and walked up to the front door. As I rang the bell I smiled. This is the best part of my day. The door buzzed and I walked in. “Whose daddy is here?” the teacher called out as I walked down the hall. “Whose daddy is...
by waiter | May 20, 2018 | Uncategorized
A while back, a young person told me, “I don’t want to have children. Why should I bring another human being into this horrible world?” I sat back in my chair, not knowing how to answer. There really is no answer. Many people choose not to have children and...
by waiter | May 18, 2018 | Uncategorized
The sound of the phone ringing punctured my sleep and my eyes snapped open. Staring at the ceiling my first conscious thought was, “Was that crack always there?” Groaning, I picked up my phone. It was my town’s emergency response department. I was in their phone chain...
by waiter | May 17, 2018 | Uncategorized
When I walked into the endodontist’s office his receptionist said, “Welcome back Mr. Dublanica.” “There’s no ‘Welcome back’ when you come to the endodontist,” I said. “What you should say is,’ You screwed up and now you’re going to pay!’” “I’m sorry,” she said....
by waiter | May 15, 2018 | Uncategorized
“Root canal,” the dentist said. “Aw shit,” I said. “Let me call the endodontist. Maybe he can fit you in today.” “Okay.” Sitting in the chair, I gingerly touched my bicuspid and was rewarded with a stabbing jolt of pain. Two weeks ago, the dentist filled it and...
by waiter | May 8, 2018 | Uncategorized
“There’s a ghost in my room,” my daughter wailed from her bedroom. Sighing, I rolled out of bed and walked into Natalie’s room, figuring this was just another ploy to stay up longer. “Where’s the ghost?” I said. “There,” Natalie said, pointing to the wall. “This?” I...
by waiter | Mar 13, 2018 | Uncategorized
A couple of days ago I was watching my old dog sleeping on his bed. In canine years, Buster must be well over a hundred. Blind and mostly deaf, he is no longer able to traverse the stairs and spends of most his time sleeping in one room – his world getting...
by waiter | Jan 24, 2018 | Uncategorized
Last Saturday I was in a townie bar watching my wife do her standup comedy routine. I didn’t like the tavern at all. When I went to get a beer the bartender, who seemed overwhelmed by the simplest of orders, gave me $11 in change after I paid for a Pabst Blue Ribbon...
