by waiter | Sep 4, 2019 | Uncategorized
Yesterday I went looking for a homeless person who probably wasn’t going to accept any help. “Have you seen this person?” I asked two DPW workers doing landscaping in a nearby park. “Try the supermarket,” one of them told me. “Might be there. Walks around...
by waiter | Aug 17, 2019 | Uncategorized
“Excuse me,” I said to the lithe twenty-something after she uncoiled out of her improbable yoga pose. “Yes?” the girl said, her creep detection radar blasting enough wattage to boil my blood away. “Are you using this box for your workout?” “Oh,...
by waiter | Aug 12, 2019 | Uncategorized
When I woke up Sunday morning, I decided to be a good daddy and take my daughter to the movies. “We’ll see that live action Dora the Explorer movie,” I told my wife. “She’s been asking me to take her.” “Great,” my wife, said. “Keep her out of...
by waiter | Aug 7, 2019 | Uncategorized
A few weeks ago our dishwasher, an old Kenmore that came with the house, gave up the ghost. After decades of barebones apartment living washing dishes by hand, the thought of not having a machine to do that chore was anathema to my middle class soul. So my...
by waiter | May 17, 2019 | Uncategorized
On a stormy day a while back an old woman came into my office and gave me a donation. “You do good work here,” she said, slipping me twenty, “I wanted to contribute a little bit.” I knew the woman had lost her husband a few months ago and, judging from her clothes and...
by waiter | Apr 29, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was sitting in the dentist’s chair waiting to get my tooth filled when one of the dental techs hurried into the room. “There was a stabbing at the deli!” she said. “What?” the dentist said. “When?” “A few minutes ago. A woman was stabbed eleven times. Three times in...
by waiter | Apr 23, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was waiting in an exam room in my cardiologist’s office, watching the clock. My appointment was for 5:40. It was now 6:45. “He’ll be just a minute,” an assistant said, poking her head into the room. “Hang in there.” “If I’m the lowest priority in the...
by waiter | Apr 8, 2019 | Uncategorized
My nephew was deathly afraid of flying. Every time his parents suggested they go on a trip involving airline travel he’d freak out – convinced he’d perish in a 30,000 foot uncontrolled descent. I figured he grow out of this phobia – but then my parents...
by waiter | Apr 4, 2019 | Uncategorized
A couple of days ago I was watching a science program about the end of the universe. It was kind of depressing. 1,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000...
by waiter | Apr 1, 2019 | Uncategorized
A while back I realized I needed to sort some things out and started seeing a therapist about once a month. Last week I was early for my appointment so I sat in my car and enjoyed a blueberry scone with a cup of coffee. As I was listening to the radio a loud scraping...
