by waiter | Feb 4, 2022 | Uncategorized
My wife was stuck at work, so my daughter and I were enjoying a quiet dinner when she asked, “Daddy? How many girlfriends do you have?” “I don’t have any girlfriends” I said. “I’m married to your mother.” “Did you have girlfriends?” “Yes.” “How...
by waiter | Feb 2, 2022 | Uncategorized
It was the morning after my daughter’s eighth birthday and since she had a delayed school opening, she got to sleep in late. Taking advantage of the quiet I made myself breakfast, put on a pot of coffee and then, after I’d stowed the dishes in the dishwasher, retired...
by waiter | Nov 20, 2021 | Uncategorized
A few weeks ago, in order to wean my daughter from those Barbie shows she’s always watching, I suggested we watch a nice nature program instead. After spinning up a list of National Geographic shows on my smart television, I told my daughter to pick one and,...
by waiter | Nov 8, 2021 | Uncategorized
Many years ago, I dated a lovely and kind woman who hailed from Dallas, Texas. Her late father was a theologian of some renown at Southern Methodist University and had been on the faculty committee that investigated a scandal involving the school’s Division One...
by waiter | Oct 7, 2021 | Uncategorized
The car in the driveway had an expired inspection sticker and was covered in a year’s worth of grime. The owner of the car’s abode was in even worse shape. Paint long faded by decades of summers into a forlorn shade of grey, the house seemed to sag defeatedly under...
by waiter | Aug 19, 2021 | Uncategorized
I’m allergic to cats. A friend of mine has three or four of them, necessitating mass quantities of Claritin if I want to go inside his house. Don’t get me wrong, I like cats – they’re graceful and beguiling creatures – but they turn me into a sneezing snotty mess...
by waiter | Aug 17, 2021 | Uncategorized
A few weeks back, a COVID denying right-wing Fauci bashing radio host died from the very virus he claimed was a hoax. Of course, the Twitterverse took no time in expressing its glee. “Thinning the herd!” “Get Wrecked. Good riddance.” ...
by waiter | Jun 1, 2021 | Uncategorized
“Why don’t we try that French place, Reynard’s?” I asked. “It’s your birthday, my wife said. “We can go wherever you want.” “Reynard’s it is, then.” (Not the restaurant’s real name, but it’s easy to figure out.) To celebrate my fifty-third...
by waiter | May 18, 2021 | Uncategorized
After my daughter started playing soccer on Saturday mornings, we quickly settled into a little routine. As soon as the game is over and the soccer moms and dads finish stowing their foldable living rooms into their SUVs, I take Natalie to Panera’s for breakfast. She...
by waiter | May 6, 2021 | Uncategorized
After my wife got her second dose of the Pfizer vaccine on Saturday, she told me, “I’m starting to feel like shit. You’ll have to take Natalie horseback riding tomorrow.” “No problem,” I said. “Have you ever ridden a horse?” I had to think about that for a...
