by waiter | Jun 2, 2023 | Uncategorized
“My chicken tastes weird,” my wife said. “Could it be the marinade?” I asked. “No. Taste it and see.” So, I did. The chicken was bad. Sighing, I looked for waitress, but she was nowhere to be found. Another waitress happened to be walking down the...
by waiter | May 11, 2023 | Uncategorized
I was working out in my old college gym with my friend Eliza, surreptitiously glancing at the shapely backside she’d honed from running five miles a day. Hey, I’m only human. “Want to go for a jog after this?” she said while powering through some bicep...
by waiter | Mar 27, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” Natalie said from the back of the car – which seems to be the place all our deep conversations start – “How do you make a baby?” “How do you think it gets there?” I countered. So much for a quiet ride home. “Kissing? Through your...
by waiter | Mar 21, 2023 | Uncategorized
A couple of months back, one of my co-workers stuck her head into my office and said, “There’s a guy downstairs wearing a skull mask walking around videotaping people.” “What?” I replied. “He’s scaring the shit out of everyone.” “Aren’t the police...
by waiter | Mar 19, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” my daughter said, from the backseat of the car. “Something’s bothering me.” “What is it, honey?” “The lady at church said most people go to – can I say a bad word?” “Go ahead.” “H-E-L-L.” “She said most people are going to...
by waiter | Feb 27, 2023 | Uncategorized
It was Mother’s Day and my wife had just finished her celebratory breakfast when our neighbor knocked on our door. “Sorry to bother you,” he said, studiously oblivious to the fact I was in my bathrobe, “But there’s a big raccoon in your yard.” “That’s...
