by waiter | Feb 12, 2023 | Uncategorized
“The parking lot is packed,” my wife, said. “It doesn’t look good.” “I’ll go inside and see,” I said. “You never know.” “I’ll wait out here.” Upon entering the restaurant, I went up to the hostess, “I know it’s a longshot. But do...
by waiter | Feb 8, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” my daughter asked me, yet again, from the backseat of the car, “I want to talk about that thing.” “It’s called puberty, Natalie,” I said. “You can say the word.” “It’s a funny word.” “It’s from a Latin word. They all sound funny. But lots of...
by waiter | Jan 20, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” my daughter asked me from the backseat of the car, “Who do you look like?” “I look like me,” I said. “No, I mean what famous person do you look like?” “Mom says I look like Matt Damon.” “Whose Matt Damon?” “A famous actor.” “Do...
by waiter | Jan 18, 2023 | Uncategorized
I was doing squats at the gym yesterday when a young woman stepped into the squat rack and picked up two five pound plates off the floor near my feet. Safety issues aside, that I might’ve wanted to use them was obviously no concern of hers. I’d have said something if...
by waiter | Nov 16, 2022 | Uncategorized
Several months ago, one of the cops in my town donated a near mint condition bike that used to be his daughter’s. “Barely a scratch on it,” he said. “You could donate it to the thrift barn,” I told him, referring to a local outfit that accepts books, clothes,...
