Two days ago, the news broke that Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, the Archbishop Emeritus of Washington D.C., had been accused of molesting a 16-year-old altar boy when he was a New York City priest in the early 70’s and that the Pope had removed him from public ministry until a canonical investigation can be concluded. That means McCarrick, who was ordained a priest in 1958 and a bishop in 1977, is no longer allowed to publicly present himself as a member of the Catholic clergy. The Cardinal stated that he didn’t remember any such incident and maintained his innocence, but said he would submit to the Pope’s order out of “obedience.”
But the real bombshell came when the bishops of the New Jersey dioceses of Newark and Metuchen stated that three allegations of sexual impropriety towards adults had been leveled against McCarrick when he ran those dioceses in the 80’s and 90’s and that two of the claimants had received out of court settlements.
When I read this my insides churned. McCarrick was appointed Archbishop of Newark during my freshman year of studies in a college seminary operated by that archdiocese. I can’t remember when I first heard the whispers about McCarrick, but I do recall that they were widespread and persistent. The seminary scuttlebutt was that McCarrick would take a shine to an attractive seminarian or young priest, invite him or a group of them to his shore home and then sexually harass or exploit them. I never met a person who claimed to have been abused by McCarrick. I have no firsthand knowledge of McCarrick’s alleged activities. My own interactions with him were pleasant and, the one time I was alone with him, nothing untoward happened. But by the time I left seminary I knew to stay away from him.
In the subsequent years, two former priests went on record accusing McCarrick of sexually harassing seminarians and priests. Many laypeople I encountered also knew about the bishop’s supposed activities – making it the worst kept secret in local Catholicism. So, it isn’t much of a stretch to conclude that most of the priests and bishops in New Jersey, nay the Tri-State area, also knew. Much like an ecclesiastical version of Harvey Weinstein, everyone knew about McCarrick’s “casting couch.”
I left the seminary long ago but this incident has reopened old wounds. The anger I feel is substantial. When I was eighteen, becoming a priest was the most important thing in my life. Looking back, I understand how a clerical predator could use a naïve seminarian’s fear of losing his vocation to extort sexual favors and keep him silent. I know several seminarians who had sexual affairs with priests. To be fair, some of these seminarians were acting out sexually and/or had agendas of their own, but I know that many of them were groomed and then exploited by the very priests they trusted. And that had fatal consequences.
A few years ago, when I was researching a book I was going to write about the seminary, I discovered one of my classmates, whom I will call “Bill,” committed suicide. As a teenager, Bill had worked in a New Jersey rectory headed by a priest who, in the 1970’s, had been sent away for “treatment” after it was discovered he had been sexually abusing students in a Catholic school. This priest wasn’t kicked out of the priesthood and for twenty years was the pastor of a parish where I think he molested Bill. To be clear, Bill never told me that this priest molested him but, judging from Bill’s troubled behavior in seminary, later suicide, and the fact this priest was eventually drummed out of the priesthood for sexual abuse, with the diocese paying millions in damages, I think the evidence is compelling.
That this abusive priest was not kicked out of the priesthood at the first sign of trouble is a sin crying to heaven for vengeance. Bill was also ordained to the priesthood and that shouldn’t have happened either. The Church not only failed to protect Bill but, in a very real way, contributed to his death.
And that’s why I’m so angry about McCarrick. This kind of abuse destroyed lives. I understand there are many fine priests and religious out there who are fighting the good fight. My late godfather was one of them. But now many priests and bishops will have to grapple with the knowledge that they knew what McCarrick was doing and that most of them, with rare exceptions, did nothing to stop it. The damage that was done is incalculable.
But karma’s a bitch Ted and it’s finally come for you.
Make no mistake about it, these revelations will rock the American Church to its core. If a Cardinal can get busted, then no clerical predator is safe. This is the #MeToo moment for the Church and I’m sure more stories will come out. The hell with worrying about “giving scandal to the faithful.” They’re grownups. They can take it. The truth shall set you free.
However, McCarrick’s fall has given me a sense of closure. For years, I wondered what would have happened if I had become a priest. Sometimes I’ve thought that I had turned my back on my best destiny, that I missed my true calling. That “what if?” has been steadily eroding for years, but McCarrick was the final nail in its coffin.
Now I know beyond a scintilla of doubt that that leaving the seminary was one of the smartest and healthiest things I’ve ever done.
What an incredible post! I am glad for anything that helped you and other men with healing.
I was raised Catholic and made many people in my family angry when I became the first person in the family to leave the church in my early 20s. I believe in God, but not an institution created by humans that subjugates their followers. God is to be followed, not men who have to go somewhere out of normal society to function. The Catholic Church is about as twisted as an institution can be. There have been many priests who have sexually abused young men, but there are probably some young women who were also victimized.
They have also been financially abusing their followers. The business of going to confession and then doling out a “penance” used to be a financial piece. Why and when was the “confessional” created? The wealthiest person in any village of peasants, was always the Catholic priest.
Agreed and agreed. Let us know when you publish that book. The piece just added to my recent feelings about whatever happens in life happens for the good thought. And what was/is good never dies.
Hello fellow classmate. I studied for the Archdiocese of Newark. I knew of McCarrick’s “nephews” . Those who got invites to his house on the Jersey shore. I,thankfully, was not part of that clique. Unfortunately, McCarrick is old news. Our media is fixated one person, Donald J Trump. McCarrick will be sent to Rome and live a life free from prosecution. G.W.-may he rest in peace.
I simply loved reading this, such a great post! Thanks for sharing this piece of your own history with us readers.
I applaud you Waiter. You followed your spirit and did the right thing. Seems like too many are “do as I say and not as I do” today.
And still people, American people with educations, attend this church and throw money down its insatiable maw. I have no quibble with people for whom religion is a respectful belief/non-belief, cuz who actually knows? But to continue to invest in this Catholic Ponzi scheme is a form of mental illness.
In my church, there was an old man who molested children. Nothing was done, even though all the women of the church knew he did it. Even though they all knew the children he molested. Even their own mothers did nothing. And you know why? Because they felt sorry for his wife. They didn’t want to embarrass her.
It all came out one Sunday when the Pastor heard a child crying and saying, “No,” from behind a swing door – a swing door in the church kitchen where the church women were preparing a pot luck lunch and pretending that nothing was going on. The Pastor pulled back the door and saw saw the old man holding onto a little girl. The Pastor first pulled the child to safety, then called his wife to stay with her. Then he lit into the women for letting children be violated while they were in the same room. How could they hear a child crying and saying, “No!” and just let it go on?
Well, some of them were embarrassed at their behavior, but how many of the mothers of his victims felt like they had behaved wrongly? The Pastor barred the man from the church. His wife could attend, but he wasn’t welcome.
They had three children of their own who lived far away and never came to visit. Dad probably started on his own kids and only turned to the children in the congregation when his escaped him. I, personally, can’t feel sorry for his wife. She probably kept her mouth shut while he molested her own children, which to me is unforgivable but not uncommon. And she did the same when he branched out to other people’s kids. It’s an ugly thing, but for some reason many adult’s main reaction to this sort of thing is embarrassment. They’d rather ignore it than face up to it and deal with it.
Many of the kids knew about him and knew not to let the old creep get them alone. But saving someone else? The old conspiracy of silence. Who knows how far it might have gone with some of the kids who weren’t fast enough or brave enough to run away? I never heard of anyone doing anything as final as committing suicide, but his favorite target age was preschool, so who knows what affect it had on them as they grew up? We moved to another city and a new church a year or so after this incident. Thank goodness.
I hadn’t thought of that in years, so, thanks for reminding me. Not quite sure how I mean that, really. /;)( We need to face up to these things and protect the people who can’t protect themselves.