2008 Bloggies!

I was thrilled to hear that Waiter Rant has been nominated for Best Writing of a Weblog at the 2008 Bloggie Awards for the second year in a row. Congratulations to all bloggers nominated for an award and many thanks to all the people who put forward my nomination!...

Haggle

“What was the steak special again?” the birdish uptight lady on table twelve asks. “It’s a sixteen ounce ribeye steak in a cognac peppercorn cream sauce,” I reply. “Can I get the steak without the sauce?” “Of course Madam.” “And how much is the ribeye?” “Thirty-three...

Kingdom of Sand

It’s the tail end of the lunch shift and Café Machiavelli is empty. Josie, the assistant manager, and I are both working double shifts. Taking advantage of the lull in customer traffic we decide to caffeinate our blood streams with several double espressos. Some...

Cut

It’s Wednesday afternoon and I show up to work early. I want to get my prep work out of the way so I can enjoy some quiet time before the customers arrive. During the holiday rush I was taking tables eight seconds after I walked in the door. That’s not good for a...

Laughing Gas

The silver haired gentleman on table 37 is celebrating his fiftieth birthday. His wife, possessing a funereal sense of humor, has decorated the eight top with black helium balloons, black streamers, and a black tablecloth. As I’m trying to take the dessert order the...