by waiter | Oct 17, 2005 | Uncategorized
“Jesus Arlene,” I say, “You’re getting bigger by the second.” Arlene is eight and a half month pregnant. Still waiting tables, she looks like she’s about to pop. “I swear I’m bigger than I was yesterday,” she moans. “Any day now,” I say. “My due date’s November...
by waiter | Oct 16, 2005 | Uncategorized
“So whaddya got for us tonight Poppy?” I ask Ernesto, our sous chef. Ernesto unenthusiastically produces a list of the night’s specials from his back pocket. Telling me the specials is just a formality. After five years I can predict the entire lineup. “And, finally,...
by waiter | Oct 10, 2005 | Uncategorized
It’s a rainy Saturday night and the Bistro’s jammin’ We don’t have a free table until 9:30. But that doesn’t stop prospective customers angling for a seat. Angelina, out Sicilian spitfire hostess, keeps the yuppies hordes at bay with a firm hand, a lovely smile, and a...
by waiter | Oct 8, 2005 | Uncategorized
“So you gonna vote tomorrow?” Saroya asks me. “Yes,” I reply, looking over my copy of the Times. I’m reading about the riots in France. Did they run out of cheese? “Who you gonna vote for?” Saroya says. “It’s a secret ballot dear.” “C’mon,” Saroya says, “Tell me.”...
by waiter | Oct 8, 2005 | Uncategorized
The door chimes. I look up. In walks the fattest man I’ve ever seen. “Holy shit!” I whisper, “Its Mr. Creosote!” Creosote lumbers down the aisle and plants himself on a dainty chair. I feel bad for that chair. “Oh my God,” Monique whispers back, “He’s huge.” “Better...
