by waiter | Nov 5, 2004 | Uncategorized
I am waiting on a table of three hotties. They flirt, they drink; they’re loud and obnoxious. I keep the happy smile plastered on my face – their check is $300. As they leave I pick up the check and look at my tip. Zero. Zip. Zlich. Nada. I am pissed. The ladies,...
by waiter | Nov 3, 2004 | Uncategorized
Nothing’s worse than training a new waiter. When you’ve been waiting tables a long time most of what you do is unconscious, burned into muscle memory. To stop and actually think about what you’re doing, and then explain it, slows you down big time. The resident...
by waiter | Nov 2, 2004 | Uncategorized
A loyal reader wrote and asked, “What items should a good waiter carry with them at all times?” Since many reading this blog are getting their jobs outsourced to China and may end up doing what I do (Heavens forefend!), I’ve decided to share a little...
by waiter | Oct 31, 2004 | Uncategorized
Saturday. 5:30pm. The phone rings. “Hello, The Bistro, how may I help you?” “I want a reservation at 7:30.” a gruff cell distorted voice barks. “How many in your party?” I reply sweetly. “Two.” I can hear car horns honking in the background “Let me see what’s...
by waiter | Oct 29, 2004 | Uncategorized
I am standing by a table, patiently waiting, while a woman mulls over the menu for the umpteenth time. They’ve been sitting for forty-five minutes, drunken two rounds of martinis, and I’ve repeated the specials five times. The other guests, fidgeting with the...
