by waiter | Nov 21, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Congratulations Assemblyman,” I say to the newly elected member of the Legislature. “Thanks,” the politician says. “Did you vote for me?” “I’m not in your district,” I reply. The Assemblyman laughs. A regular...
by waiter | Nov 20, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Can you explain fetishes to me?” Georgie, our Sunday hostess asks me. This isn’t a question I field everyday. “Why are you asking?” I reply. “You majored in psych didn’t you?” “I did.” “I’m...
by waiter | Nov 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
The hostess escorts a young couple to my section. As they walk to their table I notice they’re looking around nervously, like they’re out of their element. Maybe the Bistro’s the first fancy restaurant they’ve ever gone to. I sigh inwardly....
by waiter | Nov 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s 2:00 AM. I’m standing in line at a convenience store holding a half gallon of milk.� The stores part of a national chain. I don’t much care for it but it’s on the way home. A young guy and his girlfriend wait anxiously in front of me. When...
by waiter | Nov 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Thursday night and I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that a pharmaceutical company reserved a back table for twelve people at seven o’clock. I’m annoyed because the pharmacy rep is a snooty power-pantsuited bitch. I’m annoyed that...
by waiter | Nov 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m at the dog park with Buster, my joint custody pooch, trying to explain what joint custody poochdom means to the cute brunette with the words “Juicy” stenciled across her ass, when a black Mercedes suddenly comes screeching into the parking lot. A...
by waiter | Oct 27, 2006 | Uncategorized
The man on table 23 raises his hand and performs the scribble signal for the check. I nod in acknowledgment and head to the POS computer to print it up. All in all 23 wasn’t a bad table – man, wife, mother-in-law – the usual kind of late Sunday...
by waiter | Oct 23, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Sunday evening and I’m exhausted. I feel like the previous Friday and Saturday nights excised more than their usual pound of psychic flesh. “You look tired,” Monique, our Sunday hostess observes. “I’m feeling wiped out...
by waiter | Oct 20, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s seven o’clock on Saturday night. Every seat in the Bistro has someone’s name on it. But that doesn’t stop people without reservations from trying to get in. “Where’s Fluvio?” an impatient customers huffs, nervously waving...
by waiter | Oct 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
Its Saturday night. Beth and I are drinking dirty martinis at Istanbul, a Turkish restaurant with a great bar and live music. I’m keen on seeing some belly dancers. “Did you ever smoke a hookah?” Beth asks me, motioning to the ornate water pipes...
