by waiter | May 7, 2011 | Uncategorized
Willem was the shit and he knew it. Gliding past the waiters and busboys flitting across The Bistro’s polished wooden floors he was in the zone – his sixth waiter sense whispering when his orders would be up, whose drinks were running low and separating the good...
by waiter | Apr 20, 2011 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night and my girlfriend is pulling her car into her apartment building’s driveway. We’ve just come back from a nice dinner but a brutal, hard rain is falling. Even with the wipers going full blast we can’t see two car lengths ahead of us. Now my...
by waiter | Feb 16, 2011 | Uncategorized
When I was ten years old a movie came out that blew me away. Superman. I loved it so much that every weekend I begged my father for five bucks so my little brother and I could watch Christopher Reeve save California and Hackensack, NJ over and over again. We could do...
by waiter | Jan 27, 2011 | Uncategorized
When I was a waiter I saw and heard about restaurant owners and managers pulling all sorts of illegal nonsense. Here are a few of them. 1. Telling a new hire that they wouldn’t be paid during their two week “probationary period” and then, when that expired, cut them...
by waiter | Jan 25, 2011 | Uncategorized
I’m smoking a thirteen-dollar Maduro in an expensive cigar store in a rich town. Normally I don’t spend so much on pricey smokes but I like this place. And they have leather chairs you can sink into and forget your troubles until the last ash falls. “I can’t believe...
by waiter | Jan 7, 2011 | Uncategorized
I was surfing the Internet when I came across an article about a guy named Harold Camping who claims the world is coming to an end. According to good ‘ol Harry, May 21, 2011 will be Judgment Day and the rapture (The taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will...
by waiter | Dec 25, 2010 | Uncategorized
Well, I’m going to bed after a kick ass Italian Christmas Eve party. Now where in the world did I put my Alka-Seltzer? Man, don’t ever let me near anisette and anisette cookies again. Merry Christmas everyone! And to my non-Christain, atheist, and agnostic readers...
by waiter | Dec 20, 2010 | Uncategorized
Over my many years writing about people who depend on gratuities aggrieved people, usually skinflints, have written in to tell me that if tipped workers don’t like the money they’re making they should endeavor to make alternate employment arrangements. But what really...
by waiter | Dec 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m sitting in the cigar shop again, basking in my post Today Show glory when Philo comes in to pick up a smoke on his way to work. “I got a six hundred dollar tip today,” he crows. “That’s great I say. “Congrats.” “That shit when right into my pocket.” “Righteous....
by waiter | Dec 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
If you’re like me, you were horrified to watch that video of Clay Duke shooting up a school board meeting in Panama City, Florida. Ranting incoherently, Mr. Duke was shot by a security guard and then took his own life. Luckily no innocent people were killed. Of course...
