by waiter | Sep 23, 2012 | Uncategorized
It’s a crystal clear Saturday afternoon and I’m at party in my friend’s new house. An expensive affair of glass and wood, it stands glorious and serene on a vast plain. “My nearest neighbor is ten miles away,” my friend crows as I offer him the obligatory bottle of...
by waiter | Sep 7, 2012 | Uncategorized
I just noticed that Amazon is selling the paperback edition of Waiter Rant for $10.19! A steal! Sorry I haven’t been around much. Things are very busy over here! Back soon.
by waiter | Aug 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
I wrote a small Op-ed about entitled parents and restaurants for the Room for Debate section of the New York Times. Enjoy! Let the hate mail begin!
by waiter | Jul 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
It’s Monday morning and I’m in the bathroom performing my daily ablutions. After taking a hot shower with lots of soap, shampoo and conditioner, I towel off and go to the sink to shave. Not my favorite thing. Today, however, I’m trying something different. After...
by waiter | Jul 6, 2012 | Uncategorized
I need to refill my Lipitor prescription so I walk into the local Rite Aid with Ann in tow. “I’ll check my blood pressure while you’re waiting,” Ann says. Ann’s blood pressure is perfect, but she has a strange fetish. She likes the crushing feeling of a blood pressure...
by waiter | Jun 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
It’s Tuesday night and I’m walking through the Meadowland’s State Fair with my girlfriend, Ann. The weather is cool and breezy and attendance is sparse. That’s good because I won’t have to wait to get on a ride. And man, I love amusement park rides. “So what ride do...
by waiter | May 9, 2012 | Uncategorized
This is last minute, but I’ll be on Headline News at 5:40 today. I’m talking about automatic gratuities. Some restaurant called the cops on some people who wouldn’t pay! Should be fun.
by waiter | May 1, 2012 | Uncategorized
If you’ve come to this website after watching 20/20 or @Anderson Cooper, welcome! Most of my waiter stories can be found in the archives dating from 2004-2009. After that, you’ll find some fiction I wrote and some observations I’ve made about life. I...
by waiter | Apr 30, 2012 | Uncategorized
Hello again. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show tomorrow afternoon. (May 1) Please check your local listings for showtimes. Guess what? Anderson was a waiter once too! I knew I liked the guy.
by waiter | Apr 26, 2012 | Uncategorized
Hey everybody. I’ll be on ABC’s 20/20 this Friday night at 10PM. Set your DVRs!
