Since my identity’s been a closely guarded secret for years, I wasn’t surprised to learn that some Waiter Rant readers, independent of reality, developed their own mental image of what I looked like. Now that my face has been plastered all over the media, however, some fans wrote to tell me that they suffered a sort of emotional dissonance between what they thought I’d look like and how I actually look. That doesn’t bother me. I’ve been doing the same thing with radio personalities for years; weaving that female newsreader’s sultry, smoke filled voice into a smoldering vision of a redheaded femme fatalism – only to discover that she really looks like The Church Lady.
Thankfully for my ego, most people said I was handsome, looked exactly how they pictured me, or diplomatically declined to offer an opinion. Several women said I was cute! A couple of women said I wasn’t cute. And a few wags said I looked like the kind of waiter who sampled every dish I ever served. Well, I guess I do have that well fed ex-ecclesiastical look about me. The silver lining in all this? After seeing that “waiter who ate Cleveland” picture of myself in People Magazine, I’ve made a resolution to get back on that treadmill! At least my cardiologist will be happy.
But what really shocked me were the fantasy images some people had conjured up about me. A few readers told me they were disappointed that I didn’t look like Adrian Brody! What do you say to that? I’m just me! But do you know the most common mental picture readers had about me?
That’s right! People thought I’d look like Anton Ego – the cartoon food critic from Ratatouille! “I’m not arrogant. I’m just drawn that way!” An animated character? Me? You guys are watching way too much anime!
That’s all for today. I’ll try posting another story soon. It’s been a very crazy and fun couple of weeks. Lots of newspaper, radio, and TV interviews! Here’s a recent Q&A I did with Time.com and another with the LA Times.
I’d also like to thank everyone for the lovely messages of support they’ve sent me and the nice things they’ve said about my book! I appreciate it! Spread the word!