Definitions

I came across these definitions in at Urban Dictionary today. Thanks “angryboy!”

Waiter Gods

Waiter Gods are the all knowing, unseen entities who control the ebb and flow of the great tip continuum. They are mysterious and unknowable, but their wrath can be swift, cruel, and could possibly prevent you from making the rent this month. As their name implies their dominion of power is over Waiters, but also has been know to effect assistant managers and unscrupulous bus boys.

If one whose income is dependent upon tips is them self a bad tipper then the Waiter Gods insure that mere spare change shall be returned to them with increasing frequency. If the blasphemer does not repent he can expect to get screwed out of nights and weekends too. The Hindu religion refers to this as Karma, but this is naive and underscores the true power of the Waiter Gods.

Paul totally scammed that waitress at Applebee’s last night, but the Waiter Gods made sure that the eight top on table 14 left, like, six bucks.

Waiter’s note – And I’ve been calling them “The Table Gods” all these years!

Tip Continuum

The Tip Continuum is the ethereal construct of the nature of wealth which flows through the food service nexium. Controlled by The Waiter Gods who attempt to insure the just and decent distribution of wealth to all who lay their gratuities at their table cloth draped alter. The Tip Continuum is subject to many variables, chaos, math, and Health Department inspections. As such it occasionally can be thrown, seemingly out of balance by forces beyond human comprehension.

The New Hooters down the street had created a strong disturbance in the Tip Continuum.


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