Anyone who’s ever waited tables knows how hard it is to transition from one restaurant job to another. To help make the process a little smoother I’ve compiled a list of warning signs to help waiters avoid working in dysfunctional shitholes.
1) They hire you the moment you say, “I’m looking for a job.”
2) You start working Friday and Saturday nights the first week. (That’s because waiters quit with alarming regularity.)
3) Your boss doesn’t ask you to fill out a W-2 or ask for ID of any kind.
4) Training consists of a cursory tour of the restaurant and the head waiter telling you “sink or swim.”
5) The restaurant doesn’t pay new hires a training wage. Trainees often get used as unpaid slave labor and are told after their “probationary period” that “things aren’t working out.”
6) There are porn screensavers on the owner’s computer.
7) There are porn screen savers on the POS computer.
The kitchen guys have names for the mice.
9) The employee bathroom is so gross it would just be better to just have a hole in the ground.
10) The toilet paper in the employee bathroom could double for sandpaper.
11) The owner’s banging the hostesses. (How déclassé)
12) There’s always too many waiters on the floor or not enough.
13) Employees threaten each other with physical violence.
14) The manager solicits bribes for good sections or Saturday night shifts.
15) Owner, GM, or chef screams at employees ALL THE TIME.
16) Owner, GM, or chef makes fun of a staff person’s significant others.
17) If a waiter makes a mistake the kitchen staff would rather go on a power trip and watch the server squirm instead of fixing the problem. Of course, the customer suffers.
18) The chef refuses to make reasonable substitutions.
19) You start drinking more.
20) The restaurant doesn’t provide aprons or dupe pads.
21) You have to bring your own bank. (Money to make change)
22) You have to pay the owner a percentage of the merchant fee on your credit card tips.
23) The manager expects a share of your tips. (ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!!)
24) They take money out of your check for staff meals but don’t feed you.
25) There aren’t enough teaspoons so you hoard them in your apron so you’ll have enough to do dessert service.
26) The manager makes you empty your pockets, looking for aforementioned hoarded teaspoons.
27) There’s never any soap or hand sanitizer around.
28) Your work schedule can change without notice.
29) The manager is constantly calling you to work extra shifts and threatening you with dismissal if you don’t “help out.”
30) You show up for work to find the manager cut you from the floor. No one bothered to call and tell you.
31) Management tells you to work sick. (Good evening, I’m Typhoid Mary and I’ll be your waitress tonight.)
32) If you lose a credit card slip the owner takes the check amount out of your compensation until the credit card company transmits the funds into his account. You lose the tip.
33) The restaurant makes you pay for breakage.
34) Management makes you pay if a customer skips on the bill. (Common)
35) Busboys take uneaten bread out of table’s breadbasket and use it for a new table.
36) You’re working a double and the manager laughs when you ask to take a break.
37) You’re asked seven times a day if you’re gay or lesbian.
38) The owner tells you that you’re part of a restaurant “family” and going “above and beyond” to “exceed customer expectations” is expected. After a couple of shifts you begin to realize The Manson Family had more on the ball than these guys.
39) The restaurant is dirty.
40) Heavy turnover of waiters, busboys, and dishwashers. The place is a meat grinder and you are the meat.
41) The salad guy doesn’t use gloves.
42) You see the Health Inspector snoozing in the back.
43) Fire exits are always blocked by extra chairs, tables, or pieces of equipment.
44) The waiters talk about the owner/chef in hushed tones usually reserved for people like Jim Jones and David Koresh. Don’t drink the Foodie Kool-Aid!
45) There’s no first aid kit.
46) The owner’s never around when you need him and always around when you don’t.
47) The restaurant has a video surveillance system. That in itself is not a bad thing. But if the owner uses the system to satisfy his voyeuristic control freakiness, it’s a bad thing.
48) On your first day all the waiters tell you how much the owner, kitchen staff, busboys, and the other servers suck.
49) Waiters surreptitiously drink themselves sober while working Sunday Brunch.
50) Waiters tender their resignations by screaming “Fuck this place!” in the middle of the dining room floor on Saturday night. Classy. Could be me real soon.
Feel free to list your own warning signs in the comments section!
Darling Nikki wrote on 05/9/08 at 11:48 am :
Some other signs you might be working in a bad restaraunt:
The owner pays for prostitutes out of the register.
You unlock the door to set up in the morning and the owner is asleep, face-down on the floor.
The (male) owner gives you (female) a $30 tipout you are owed and asks in a lascivious voice “so what does this get me?”
The owner reaches around the beer tower to refill his pint glass so many times that this move is called the *owner’s name* reach around.
The owner drinks all the Guiness then yells at the bar manager for running out of Guiness.
The owner has a fight with the bouncer for “cock-blocking” him (from hitting on a waitress!!!)
The GM gets fired via text message.
You show up to work a shift one day and can’t get in because the doors are locked, the locks are changed and there is a “For Rent” sign on the window.
exmortisfangirl wrote on 05/9/08 at 9:03 pm :
>The owner acts like a mad scientist and your the assiant.
>The new “yuppie burgers” just got made after several disturbing disapearences of yuppies in the paper…
>The owner acts like a supervillian.
>The cook is the witch from “Hansel and Gretel”.
>The opening to an alternative universe is near the exit and is always stepped into by mistake.
Pablo Diablo wrote on 05/13/08 at 4:29 pm :
The one about making a waiter pay for a dine and dash happened to a friend of mine when we worked as waiters once. After we complained enough they made a concession- and took the money from the tips pot. Bastards.
CG wrote on 05/30/08 at 2:09 pm :
Wow, my old job hit a lot of those. Particularly ones where the GM is a prick or just bad at his job. Moral was real low there. Yet somehow I stayed for years and was the senior waiter there until ’06.
Here’s another:
You watch the Assistant Manager buy pot in the parking lot on the curb side take out monitor.
Just discovered and love the blog by the way. I will likely by the book.
jo wrote on 07/14/08 at 4:09 am :
Just wanted to mention 1 decent thing a restaurant from my past did. If we cut a table off from drinking cuz they were smashed and they stiffed us o the tip, the restaurant gave us an automatic 15%. (Bennigan’s)
cristina wrote on 08/2/08 at 12:26 am :
jesus, my current job has a lot of those. especially the one about dine and dashes…the servers have to pay the entire bill. yeah people, think twice about running off – you’re not screwing the establishment and their high prices, you’re screwing over a hard working server making less than minimum wage that probably has textbooks to buy and residence to pay for at university! sorry, that was my own, personal, little, waitress rant.
oh and the one i add to this list:
not only are there cameras in every possible area a server could be standing, there are also MICROPHONES. yep, management actually does that.
Sara wrote on 08/6/08 at 1:30 pm :
To Jo: I guess thats why Bennigan’s filed bankrupcy. And they too are guilty of this “You show up to work a shift one day and can’t get in because the doors are locked, the locks are changed and there is a “For Rent” sign on the window.”
April wrote on 08/13/08 at 11:23 am :
I’m working at a privately owned steakhouse, where the GM has been taking or begging for tip-outs from the servers… Asshole!
Chris wrote on 08/16/08 at 10:02 am :
I’ve seen a few of these where I’ve worked.
The chef owner will snap at servers for almost no reason if hes in the shits. One would think that any server worth their salt would be seasoned pros at handling this situation. Unfortunately, that never seems to be the case. Every time they lose their cool and in two sentences its a full blown argument.
Argue with a chef in his own kitchen? Gee, I wonder how that will end?
‘Don’t you have tables? Get the fuck out of my kitchen.’
The most infuriating thing, however, is that the GM, who is the owners wife, also takes tables. Even on average to slow nights. You’re getting profits from the restaurant and you get tipped out? That is just wrong.
amber wrote on 08/16/08 at 1:47 pm :
god i swear i worked there!
where is it at??
Chris wrote on 08/16/08 at 7:48 pm :
Wow that was quick…
A small privately owned place in Arizona. Don’t really want to in to details as I’m still on good terms with the chef.
Doesn’t surprise me if any of the above sounds familiar. Anyone who has worked in a place where the husband runs one side of the house and the wife the other has probably seen it.
Its just another attempt to squeeze a little more out of a thin profit margin. Trouble is when one or both just aren’t up to the job. Anyone who has been in the business long enough has seen it.
Staff retention turns to shit and quality begins to suffer because of it. Customers dry up and then the business closes. Happens all the time.
Good place to pick up restaurant supplies on the cheap.
Chris wrote on 08/16/08 at 7:50 pm :
Ouch, repeat my self much?
SFBartender wrote on 09/4/08 at 6:23 pm :
I have LITERALLY had all of these except 6,7,22, & 32-34. What an industry.
Anonymous wrote on 09/6/08 at 1:54 am :
humm like 40 out of 50 0f thesse occor regularly where I work now. I wonder exactly how bad that really is?
Another sign you work in a bad resutrant the waitresses and hostess are always willing to go to the walk-in to refill dressing so the GM won’t know he made them cry.
Anonymous wrote on 09/6/08 at 10:28 am :
humm like 40 out of 50 0f these occur regularly where I work now. I wonder exactly how bad that really is?
Another sign you work in a bad restaurant the waitresses and hostess are always willing to go to the walk-in to refill dressing so the GM won’t know he made them cry.
*Re posted due to spelling errors*
Amanda wrote on 09/6/08 at 3:43 pm :
To Sara–one of my fellow servers used to work at Bennigan’s, and found out he didn’t have a job by arriving at work one day only to find a sign that said, “Bennigan’s closed.”
Anonymous wrote on 09/9/08 at 1:27 pm :
The owner’s wife hosts and is a sourpuss and rude to customers. The owner blames the servers for declining business when it is actually his own wife and other old hostesses who are driving customers away.
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Jenna wrote on 12/29/08 at 3:18 pm :
To Be fair to Bennigan’s, The managers couldn’t get in either. That also means they couldn’t access staff phone numbers to make calls. Still sucks, though.
I’ve lived through almost all of these though, and have some to add:
-3 of 4 members of management are banging 3 different servers. God help you if you aren’t friendly with those servers!
-the owners are in a battle with the landlords. Owner won’t pay rent unless xyz is fixed in the building, landlord won’t fix xyz until the rent is paid.
-the hole in the office ceiling routinely has rats fall through it onto waiting personnel.
-all members of management get fired because some kitchen guys stole some beer, but you keep the kitchen guys and hire a 20-year old to be the GM. (yes. Actually happened.)
-it’s a family restaurant that has some video games – including a Playboy pinball machine that flashes nude photographs at the player.
-It’s slow enough routinely that the servers can watch Nip/Tuck or LOST and give sufficient service to their customers during commercial breaks.
-a fight breaks out at the holiday party, including the summary smashing of a beer bottle over a guy’s head.
-massive server drama due to the HUGE waitstaff. More so than normal.
-you can work 12 out of 14 shifts in a week and STILL not pay your basic bills.
-the rental internet terminal at the front of the restaurant is routinely routed to goatse.cx by staff and left there to gross out customers.
-a busboy smashes out the brains of a mouse WITH A DRINK CUP on the floor in the middle of a restaurant with customers watching, then proceeds to dump mouse in trash and cup back on the counter for a server to grab!
ALL of the above was the same restaurant, by the way!
LisaM wrote on 01/26/09 at 1:47 pm :
When a dead mouse has it’s leg sticking out of the ceiling tiles.
When the servers are all hired for their looks instead of their brains (too many dumb waitresses)!! And most of them are barely legal.
When the GM is banging multiple servers…and he’s married!
When you go in to open the kitchemn and you find used condoms on the food counters.
Mike wrote on 02/5/09 at 8:29 pm :
I was working at a restaurant that couldn’t afford dishwasher detergent. The problem for management, besides un-sanitized dishes, was that the machine would sound an alarm when it sensed there was nothing left in the detergent storage bucket. Well this beeping machine seemed to upset them more than the prospect of getting all their customers sick from eating off of dirty dishes. So, they would just fill up the buckets with water to trick the sensor into believing there was soap in it.
jj wrote on 03/12/09 at 2:25 am :
when the owner/head chef stands in the kitchen YELLING his lungs outi in disagreement at the health inspector during a surpise visit. for a good 10 minutes. with customers barely 10 feet away.
Colin wrote on 04/28/09 at 5:09 am :
When the restaurant has a “no calling out for any reason or you’re fired” policy. I’m serious. The diner where I used to work would not let you call out for ANY reason, including, say, broken limbs, or getting hit by a car on the way to work. That place made me fantasize about jumping out into the street in front of a semi.
Jessica wrote on 05/19/09 at 6:10 pm :
I have a couple
- the whole kitchen/bar sewer system backs up in the middle of the dinner rush so servers & cooks have to walk threw slugde the whole night. (and one of the drains backing up was in the middle of the 2 dining rooms so we had to make a barrier)
- the wife of a manager who is sleeping with multiple servers goes to the restaurant and keys all the employees cars
- owner pays the cooks more than the managers
- manager forgets to order my liquor and blames the bar for running out
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Anonymous wrote on 08/5/09 at 10:58 pm :
How about working sunday brunch while wading through human shit that has overflowed from the sewers into the kitchen, sloshed up onto the glass racks, splashed onto the salad prep area and sticking all over the poor waiters shoes who are being forced to wade through it. The idiot manager burned cinnamon sticks to keep the smell from wafting out into the dining room
Anonymous wrote on 09/5/09 at 9:57 am :
Simolin
Being asked to go through the trash looking for silverware, rammickans, etc…Because management is too cheap to purchase metal magnet garbage can rim. The best is paying bartenders and hostesses $2.13 an hour plus a tip share from the servers. …And of couse the “manager tip out” policy, where one of the managers is being paid to sit at home and watch Sportscenter.
__________Welcome to the south.
john wrote on 09/9/09 at 11:05 am :
I had a manager come into work sit at the end of the and order me to fix her a drink.She polished off half a bottle of expensive flavored Vodka.Then she stumbled to her office and hid the rest of the night,until closing time where she fixed herself a couple of white russians.Classy
Nanashi wrote on 09/9/09 at 6:41 pm :
*When the dishwasher is kicked out of the kitchen at the same time the kitchen closes.
*When the head cook/chef/kitchen manager doesn’t have the cajones to stand up to the GM.
*When the head chef is such an asshole, the immigrant workers who don’t speak English feel the need to reassure the new person that he’s just an asshole.
*When the owner calls lidded drink glasses with straws “sippy cups”, forbids beverages from the kitchen, only allows 2 five minute breaks, and makes you pay half price for any drink other than coffee or water.
*When the GM forgets there’s a big local game the night after Valentine’s, and schedules the same people at reduced staff that night, then refuses to try calling staff and see if anyone would like to pick up an extra shift. The cooks leave the kitchen and turn off the lights because they’re too tired to realize the lone dishwasher is still cleaning.
*The first aid kit is at the hostess stand in the front, and kitchen staff aren’t allowed in the dining area during serving hours.
*The bakery cook puts strawberry tops complete with leaves on strawberry scones as decoration.
Mike wrote on 10/30/09 at 7:32 pm :
When the dishwasher has locked himself in the storage closet because he’s drunk, again.
When the manager is doing lines of cocaine with the customers in the customer bathroom.
When management tells you getting the busboys to do their job, is your job.
When management then yells at you for telling the busboys to do their job.
When the busboys are swearing loudly in Spanish (or English) in full view of the customers.
When management micromanages you to death then complains that you can’t do anything by yourself.
When employees lockers and coats are vandalized by other employees during a shift and managment says it’s not their problem and does nothing about it.
When you are reluctantly given leave to go to a family funeral, after being told that you could be replaced while you’re gone.
When you return from said funeral to be told you now “owe the restaurant”.
When the wine steward and an amount of product and money suddenly disappear one day.
When the customer bathroom has more pornographic grafitti than a truck stop bathroom.
When the customer bathroom is technically not in the same building as the restaurant.
When underage and barely legal employees are drunk at the company holiday party.
When afformentioned employees are later known to have been in the managers hotel room, in the bathtub, with the manager.
When you find out management is getting rid of long term employees because their benefits are too expensive.
When you have an open kitchen, and the chef’s have frequent loud angry emotional breakdowns.
When chef positions change more than four times in a year.
When you are told you are permanently on call to come in to the restaurant.
When a twenty minute break between a full lunch shift and a full dinner shift is considered sufficient.
When you are told you have to serve a pregnant woman the three bottles of wine she wants to drink with her friend even though you would be responsible if anything happened.
When the employee toilet isn’t flushed.
When the employee toilet isn’t flushed because the waste is on the floor.
When you point out any problem to management you are accussed of causing it.
When a stale dinner roll is considered an employee meal.
When you find out you’ve been charged for employee meals without actually ever getting any.
When management considers it a chore to do the things you need them to do, that you can’t do yourself.
When managment refuses to do the afformentioned things.
By the way all the above items actually happened to me in the same restaurant. Which reminds me of one more.
When you finally leave the restaurant after many years and figure out you hadn’t left sooner because you were suffering from a form of Stockholm syndrome.
luckylizzie wrote on 05/13/10 at 9:01 pm :
Wow I experienced a lot of those!
What about:
You have 4 bosses who all tell you different things, and you get in trouble for listening to the “wrong one”
One of your managers frequently offers servers his car keys to have beer out of his trunk
Same manager always calls you pet names (in front of customers) and puts his arm around you in regular conversation
Take away bussers but then creates a new management position that will be responsible for wine service and gets tipped
30 minutes is deducted from hours for a break that most times we don’t receive
Human resources constantly changes the number of hours required for health insurance
Anna Molly wrote on 05/17/10 at 5:40 am :
I have a few.
Manager drinking a beer at the Mgmt shift change, but then goes to talk to a customer (with alcohol on his breath.)
Mgmt drinking so much beer and not accounting for it (more than a case of 24 a month), then yelling at the bartender for stealing beer.
Mgmt doing any sort of illegal hard drug.
Mgmt always unplugs the credit card router so he can access the internet on his Mac-book.
Mgmt forgets constantly to order. Anything. Paper stock, food, alcohol.
Servers who were fired multiple times are continuously rehired and given back their seniority, while the rest of the loyal and well behaved servers get screwed on shifts/sections.
Mgmt hiding from customers when mgmt is needed to diffuse a situation. (Hellooo, I’m only paid $2.13 an hour. And that’s not to argue. Get your salary or hourly arse out there.)
Mgmt changing “unwritten menu rules” daily, or even hourly. Lack of consistency.
victoria wrote on 05/18/10 at 2:43 pm :
I was “hired” at a local type restaurant and thank god I backed out today! The owner never took any type of id–well, he wrote down my social security number (i hope that’s safe) and then he asked me to come in (when I called back to ask a question he switched up the times–and acted like I was crazy when I said I thought I was supposed to come at the other time!) Of course, I work the first night without clocking in/getting paid anything.
He tells me (when I ask) to come in a few days after that at 10:45 in the morning…I arrive and ask if I should clock in/get paid–he said no we don’t pay for training…he also said that I’d probably be staying “through dinner” when I asked…which apparently meant 8 oclock at night or later! When I asked if I’d get a break, he looked at me like I was stupid and said, “What do you mean, break?” After a few more questions I told him it wasn’t going to work out…There’s no way I’m wasting my time working for free–running up the risk of being told “it’s not working out”. After all, why else wouldn’t he document me/fill out my tax forms?
Beware of restaurants like that! They want slave labor (9-10 hour days for free? At moment’s notice?) and then they’ll probably say, “Sorry”. Makes me so angry!!
Daniel wrote on 06/30/10 at 4:16 pm :
Ive been working in the industry for 10 years and have never witnessed any off this shit. Where the fuck have you all worked omfg LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!