Dog Park II
May 16th, 2006 by Waiter
I’m at the dog park watching Buster, my joint custody pooch, sniff some Pekinese ass.
“That your dog?” a big burly guy asks, pointing to Buster.
“Yeah,” I reply, “The Pekinese yours?”
“Yeah,” the big guy says smiling, walking towards me, “They seem to get along.”
“That they do,” I reply.
“My name’s Bill,” the man says, extending his hand.
I shake Bill’s hand and tell him my name. I can’t help but notice his hand completely envelops mine.
“Nice to meet ya,” Bill says.
“Likewise,” I reply.
Bill’s got a big beefy face, busted capillaries in his nose, scar tissue under his eyes, and a pot belly. In his fifties, hovering at 6’3 and weighing about 250 pounds, he looks like he boxed in his younger days. It’s interesting how big guys often have little dogs.
“How old’s your dog?” I ask, making conversation.
“Five” Bill replies, “Yours?”
“Almost four.”
Buster and the Pekinese decide to run around in the mud. Sigh. I’ll have to give Buster a bath when we get home. At least he’ll be tired out for the rest of the day. Bill and I shoot the breeze as our dogs mix it up. I like Bill. He’s a big cheerful guy.
“So ya hear they’re gonna section off the park?” Bill asks.
“A section for big dogs and one for little dogs?” I reply.
“Yeah.”
“Waste of time if you ask me,” I say, “They should have a section just for the neurotic owners.”
“Oh yeah,” Bill says, “The people who think dogs are kids.”
“They have strollers for dogs now.” I chortle, “Seen that shit yet?”
“And day care too,” Bill replies.
“Unbelievable.”
A new arrival shows up. He’s holding his dog, a Pomeranian, nervously in his arms. Whenever a new dog enters the park all the other dogs run over to check it out. I can tell this is freaking the Pomeranian owner out.
“Get a load of this guy,” Bill whispers.
Pomeranian Guy’s in his mid forties, salt and pepper haired, and well dressed. I glance at his feet. He’s wearing Italian loafers. Poor choice of footwear for walking about a place steeped in dog piss. He must be new.
“Hi there,” I say in greeting.
Pomeranian Guy ignores me and puts his dog down. One dog, a large black mutt, takes a shining to the little orange fur ball and starts chasing it.
“Oh my God!” Pomeranian guy squeaks, chasing after his dog.
“Oh brother,” Bill says under his breath.
Pomeranian Guy catches up to the dogs and grabs the black mutt by the collar. Now, I know the dogs are just playing, but, as a small dog owner, I understand Pomeranian Guy’s concern. Accidents happen.
“Whose dog is this?” Pomeranian Guy yells.
No one answers.
“Whose FUCKING dog is this?” Pomeranian Guy repeats, something hysterically imperious in his tone.
Bill and I look at each other. Something telegraphs between us.
Suddenly an old man comes walking up. He’s tall, skinny, clad in orange Dickey suspenders and sporting a John Deere hat. He looks an updated version of the husband from American gothic.
“It’s my dog. What’s the problem?”
“You should be watching your dog,” Pomeranian Guy huffs.
“I was just picking up his poop over there……” the old man starts to say.
“You should be watching your dog ASSHOLE!” Pomeranian Guy yells.
As I watch the veins pop out of Pomeranian Guy’s neck I think how painful it must be to be him. He’s flipping out in a dog park over nothing. Probably because he’s got a mortgage, two kids in college, and a wife who won’t have sex with him anymore. Maybe I’m all wrong about him, I’m not psychic, - but something tells me yelling at an old man is symptomatic of larger problems. I shake my head. This guy’s like some of my customers at the Bistro.
“Well aren’t you a coward,” the old man replies, “You’ll yell and scream at an old man huh? If I was twenty years younger you wouldn’t be saying that to me.”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you,” the old man retorts, “You’ve got a yellow streak up your back a mile wide.”
That hits a nerve. Pomeranian Guy steps menacingly close to the old man. “FUCK YOU!” he screams.
“Think long and hard about what you’re doing,” a voice says.
Pomeranian Guy turns around and looks at me. But I’m not the one doing the talking.
“You’re not gonna mess with an old man are ya?” Bill says, his large hands hanging loosely by his sides, “Because that would not be good.”
Bill’s cheerful voice is now full of quiet, cold, menacing power.
Pomeranian Guy picks up his dog and leaves without saying a word. Problem solved.
“I’d have stepped in if you needed help,” I say, watching Pomeranian Guy walk away.
Bill looks at me. The cheerfulness in his voice returns. “I wouldn’t have needed your help. But thanks.”
“You’re probably right.”
I notice the old man looks like he’s gonna stroke out. I walk over and make him sit on a park bench. I talk to him for a few minutes in calm reassuring tones. The black mutt puts his head in the old man’s lap. The old man smoothes his hair absently.
“You gonna be alright?” I ask after a while.
“Yeah,” he replies, “Thanks. My heart rate’s normal now.”
“Don’t let that shmuck ruin your whole day,” I say.
“I won’t.”
I walk back over to Bill. He’s making baby talk to his Pekinese. Brother, talk about contradictions.
“Well I’ve gotta go,” I say, “Nice meeting you.”
“Same here,” Bill says smiling.
I shake Bill’s hand again, leash Buster up, and start heading home. As I’m walking I remember how I confronted a man at the dog park once. But that guy was younger and bigger than me. Pomeranian Guy was tough talking to an old man. Suddenly I feel very good about myself.
I wear a small smile the rest of the way home.
11 Responses to “Dog Park II”
Leave a Reply
- Buy Waiter Rant:
- Amazon.com
- Barnes & Noble
- Borders
- Indiebound Booksellers
- Buy UK Edition
- Book Me For a Speaking Engagement
- E-mail Me
- Back to Homepage
Blogroll
Archives
- February 2010
- January 2010
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
- December 2004
- November 2004
- October 2004
- September 2004
- April 2004
Categories
- Uncategorized (572)
Meta
nyackian wrote on 08/3/08 at 12:44 am :
I’ve been to that park, Bill did the right thing.
Anonymous wrote on 11/21/08 at 4:08 pm :
i run into that shit every time i bring my pup (akita) to the dog park (live in arizona). sure.. he’s bigger than most other dogs and he could surely take them down but he’s probably the best “player” there and knows if he’s being too rough with a dog that can’t handle it. oh.. and the fact that most dogs will submit prior to him even approaching them while their owners freak out like he’s going to eat them. all i can iterate is to “take them to the TIMID side!” or.. “get a book if you know nothing about dogs and their behavior!”
i dont care how big someone is… if they were to grab my dog in anyway, i would have to “grab” them back.
Anonymous wrote on 01/6/09 at 9:00 pm :
u people need to get a life…
bel canto wrote on 01/16/09 at 2:10 pm :
If by “life”, you mean “anonymously judging people on the internet”, no thanks.
ExFiler wrote on 01/29/09 at 5:19 pm :
Ah Bel Canto….But look how much fun you would have hiding in the corner chastising people…..
Dog Sitter wrote on 04/18/09 at 2:16 pm :
I agree with the thought that most peoples frustrations are often not about the problem at hand!
At least he cared for his dog, if not for his fellow humans
buy cheap codeine online wrote on 08/1/09 at 2:25 am :
generic buy cheap codeine online…
Text…
Park Benches wrote on 10/8/09 at 9:40 pm :
Park Bench Park Benches Polly Products Outdoor Picnic Products
Maui wrote on 11/11/09 at 5:03 pm :
I feel so bad for the Pomeranian…his owner’s a jackass.
Norina the Pet Sitter wrote on 12/31/09 at 11:33 pm :
I never take the dogs in my care to dog parks because of situations like this! Plus I have 2 pitties and three toy breeds and people are breed prejudiced against my pitties who are infinitely sweeter than my little pups!
Kempeth wrote on 01/7/10 at 9:25 am :
Arghhh. Such couples of small dogs and their owners are a menace for anyone with a larger dog. Especially those folks who carry their dogs all the time. Most of them have no idea what a disservice they do to their dogs. They’re all “Oh no that big beast will devour my poor innocent dog” when in fact it’s their little devils who pick all the fights because they know exactly they’ll be picked up the second the larger dog just looks their way…
Of course there’s plenty of owners who handle their small dogs great - like Steve and Bill. It’s just like everywere - a small minority who spoils the fun for everyone…