It’s a slow lunch. Too kill time, Gwen, the lunch waitress is doing a Feng Shui analysis of my apartment.
“You see here,” Gwen says pointing to my clumsily doodled floor plan, “your creativity corner is strong. But your money and love energies are going out the window.”
“Sounds like the story of my life,” I chuckle.
“You actually don’t even have a love corner in your apartment,” Gwen notes.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Maybe you could put a mirror in that corner to reflect the energy back. Hmmmm,” Gwen ruminates.
“How about a mirror over the bed?” I say winking.
“In Feng Shui that’s a bad idea. Not to mention tacky,”
“Oh well,” I sigh.
The door chimes. The coffee guy is making his delivery. I get up from the table and help the guys unload the truck. When I return, Gwen is laughing.
“The coffee guy asked me out,” she giggles,
Christ. Mr. Coffee’s at it again – propositioning girls wherever he makes deliveries.
“Is that a good thing?” I ask cautiously.
“Nope, I’m not attracted to him.”
“Well, I hope he takes rejection well,” I say.
“Actually I gave him my phone number,” Gwen says.
“Why did you do that?” I ask.
“Well I didn’t want to lie and say I have a boyfriend when I don’t.”
“So you get the guys hopes up and then what – not answer the phone?”
“I know, I know. I’m really at bad just telling guys no,” Gwen fusses.
“Trust me, being direct is the best thing to do,” I reply.
“What am I going to do when he calls?”
“Just tell him thanks but no thanks.”
“But I gave him my number!”
Women are socialized to be nice to guys. When faced with an unwanted suitor they’re sometimes accommodating just to shine them off. It’s a defensive move. I understand. Women have more experience with unwanted attention.
“Tell him you get nervous in those situations and you hate making people feel bad. Then say no thanks,” I instruct.
“Won’t he get mad?” Gwen wonders
“Let me tell you about Mr. Coffee. He hits on every girl in every restaurant.”
“Before my ex and I hooked up he took her on a date once,” I say.
“How’d it go?”
“He tried to stick his tongue down her throat.”
“On the first date?” Gwen asks.
“Try on the first hour.”
“Yuck,” she says making a face.
“What I’m saying is your rejection ain’t gonna faze him. He’s think he’s a “playa.””
“Sounds like an asshole,” Gwen muses.
“You’re dodging a bullet,” I conclude.
We’re silent for a minute.
“You know what’s funny?” Gwen says.
“I just put an attractor crystal in the love corner of my house.”
“Seems to kinda work,” I offer.
“Not well enough,” Gwen whispers eyes downcast.
Gwen is a beautiful girl with charms of her own. She doesn’t need to rely on trinkets.
“Don’t worry. Your prince will come.” I say.
“Just get over that saying yes when you mean no thing.”
“I’ll try,” Gwen says smiling.
The next day I’m walking through my neighborhood when I pass by the local New Age store. It’s run by some Wiccan Hippie Chick. I buy my incense there. Impulsively – I go in.
I exit holding a small bag. When I get home I pull a hammer and nail out of the toolbox and get to work.
Finished, I step back and admire my newest decoration.
A love amulet.
If placed it right it’s hanging in the “love corner” of my room.
I don’t exactly believe in all this Feng Shui stuff. Perhaps there are no magical energies. Maybe I just wasted ten bucks.
But you never know. As the Bard once said, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”
Besides – I need all the help I can get.
The amulet swings slightly, stirred about by the cool spring breeze
Maybe the talisman is just a symbol of hope I think to myself. A reminder that things get better.
Yes. That’s it. Perhaps it’s all about hope.
That’s good enough.