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California, Here I Come

April 14th, 2009 by Waiter

I’ll be heading off to California this Friday. While some of my itinerary must remain secret, I’ll be in the Los Angeles Area from April 20th to the morning of the 24th. I have quite a few interviews scheduled, but I’m always up for more! If you work/live in LA and toil in the below professions, send me an email

Escort – (Sex Worker)

Car Valet (at hotel or nightclub)

Bathroom Attendant (Restuarant or nightclub)

Cocktail Waitress (Nightclub)

Hotel Concierge (Chateau Marmont?)

Off to Chandler’s City of Angels! I can’t wait to dip my toe in the Pacific!

Posted in Uncategorized 48 Comments »

48 Responses to “California, Here I Come”

Alex wrote on 04/14/09 at 12:30 pm :

Welcome to LA!!!
syaoran wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:01 pm :

LA has some seriously good eats. Go for sushi in Little Tokyo or if you want french dipped sandwiches, try Philippe’s.
LA ex-waitress wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:02 pm :

Sorry the weather isn’t better!
gilliebean wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:03 pm :

You should also talk to the guys who clean the cars. Hand wash places are all over the city. They range from $9.95 for a regular wash to $99.95 for a full detail and polish. I’d like to know what their tipping experiences have been.
Kevin wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:16 pm :

Don’t forget, we don’t have a gulf stream, so the Pacific is probably only about 60 degrees this month…
Missy wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:19 pm :

It should be decently warm on those dates. I hope you enjoy your time out here
Molson wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:21 pm :

I wouldn’t dip more than my toe in the ocean this time of year. Unless you enjoy shrinkage!
IT Guy wrote on 04/14/09 at 1:59 pm :

If you make your way down to San Diego for some fish tacos let me know, I know a REALLY good place.
Daria wrote on 04/14/09 at 2:15 pm :

You have to do a book signing for all the West Coast fans!
Casey wrote on 04/14/09 at 2:31 pm :

Aww yeah I want a book signing!!!

It looks like the weather is going to warm up for you at least!
Michelle wrote on 04/14/09 at 2:33 pm :

Let me know if you get a chance to make it down to San Diego! I’m no longer in the “industry”, but my sister works as a server at the Tilted Kilt. It’s like a scottish Hooters… ha ha, might be interesting!
SomeGirl wrote on 04/14/09 at 2:58 pm :

I don’t work in any of those fields, but as a secretary for a medical department, its interesting to see what they try to pass of as gifts, since tipping here is a little illegal!!

BTW LA hospitals are huge!! I miss my tiny farm land hospital. But I suppose your hospitals in NY are pretty big as well.
billp salem oregon wrote on 04/14/09 at 3:36 pm :

I enjoyed your book but get over yourself! What secret agent may I take your order please?
Arden wrote on 04/14/09 at 5:26 pm :

San Francisco wants a visit too
nunya wrote on 04/14/09 at 5:32 pm :

Just remember it aint like New York.
Anonymous wrote on 04/14/09 at 7:42 pm :

Waiter what are you doing this weekend? Are you going to coachella?! If so, I hope to run in to you!!
AIM=KALIKRNGUYX wrote on 04/14/09 at 9:09 pm :

HAVE U EVER WISHED U COULD GET PAID TO MASTERBATE? YES I KNO, I KNO ALOT OF U GUYS OUT THERE HAVE BEEN ALONE MANY NIGHTS, NOTHING TO DO, SO WAT DO U DO? YOU MASTERBATE OF COURSE! AND HAS ANYONE EVER PAID YOU TO MASTERBATE! NO! BUT NOW THAS CHANGED! WITH MY NEW SYSTEM YOU CAN GET PAID TO MASTERATE! YES THATS RIGHT! EVERYTIME YOU MASTERBATE YOU GET PAID! DONT U WANT TO GET PAID NOW FOR DOIN WAT U LOVE TO DO? MASTERBATE! I KNO I KNO, U MAY BE SKEPTICAL, HOW CAN I GET PAID TO MASTERBATE, WHO IS GONNA PAY ME TO MASTERBATE? WHY WOULD THEY PAY ME TO MASTERBATE? DONT WORRY SON, YOU WILL GET YOUR CHECKS IN THE MAIL AS SOON AS U SPANK THAT MONKEY! JUST GET MY SYSTEM FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF, NOT 49.95, NO NOT 39.95, NOT EVEN 29.95, BUT FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF ONLY 19.95, BUT THAS NOT ALL, IF U ACT NOW U WILL ALSO GET MY BRAND NEW GUIDE TO HOW TO MASTERBATE 100 TIMES IN LESS THEN 10 MINUTES! YES THAS RIGHT! U CAN MASTERBATE 100 TIMES IN LESS THEN 10 MINUTES! HOW? GET MY SYSTEM AND YOU WILL FIND OUT! LOOK I KNO ALL U GUYS OUT THERE ARE TIRED OF UR BORING, DEAD END JOBS, U WANT TO GET PAID TO DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE, AND THAS MASTERBATE! SO WAT ARE U WAITING FOR? DONT JUST TUNE OUT AND GO MASTERBATE, YOU WONT BE MAKIN ANY MONEY WITHOUT MY SYSTEM! U DONT WANT TO BEAT UR MEAT, AND NOT BE MAKIN SOME DOUGH! CALL NOW!
Catharine wrote on 04/14/09 at 10:02 pm :

If you can’t squeeze in recreational coffee, I’ll understand. But give me a call if you have a bit of time to meet up. ~Amanda~
Purple Dino Type wrote on 04/14/09 at 11:15 pm :

Are you looking for any professions other than the ones you listed? I can’t help you out with folks in those lines of work but I could tell you some stories about tips received from Entertaining at kids birthday parties.
If you give the area of town you’ll be in (Hollywood, The Valley, The West Side)I’m sure your fine L.A. readers will be able to help you out with good places to eat and whatever else you may want to do. We won’t judge you… much.
Tabinator wrote on 04/15/09 at 1:41 am :

BOOK SIGNING !! BOOK SIGNING !!

I’m in Santa Barbara and I’d be willing to make the trip into LA for that. Better yet, come up here and check out the “American Riviera”, one of California’s best treasures
Gabby wrote on 04/15/09 at 2:45 am :

You should come to San Diego!!
Waiterrant Fan wrote on 04/15/09 at 4:11 am :

Let me guess – the ‘escorts’ aren’t really for the book, are they Steve?
S. Woody White wrote on 04/15/09 at 5:57 am :

Bathroom attendant? In Los Angeles?

I don’t think you’ll find them there (except for George Michael, of course, and he wasn’t there for the tips…)
Debbie Gibson wrote on 04/15/09 at 10:06 am :

It would be great to see you in San Diego, if you came down this far and the Calamari at SouthBeach in Ocean Beach is the best!!!
Where are those best ever tacos, It Guy?
AIM=KALIKRNGUYX I for one, don’t appreciate your type of advertizing and stop yelling at us!!!
dave wrote on 04/15/09 at 10:15 am :

Secret? That might be the funniest thing I’ve read this month. Wouldn’t want to blow your cover or anything because I’m sure the literary spies could score a major coup by getting a glimpse at your next book on tipping.
Bishop^ wrote on 04/15/09 at 10:51 am :

Agreed with the folks that are bringing up San Diego, but it also might be interesting to look at the tipping culture in Tijuana as well!

If you combine Tijuana and San Diego, which are often called the “Tijuana-San Diego Metro Area”, it’s bigger than LA.

I’d be glad to take you on a trip “south of the border” if you’re interested!
Bishop^ wrote on 04/15/09 at 10:52 am :

Oh and as for bathroom attendants in L.A., the only places I ever saw them when I lived up there were the strip clubs.
gilliebean wrote on 04/15/09 at 1:19 pm :

Car wash guys! I’m tellin’ ya!
Debbie Gibson wrote on 04/15/09 at 1:55 pm :

Lips in San Diego (North Park) have bathroom attendants.
Don’t forget your passport if going to Mexico….
kcbelles wrote on 04/15/09 at 2:32 pm :

I agree – gotta include the car wash guys. One thing I really miss after moving to the NW from Los Angeles; the car washes. Always tipped the car wash guys; if you were a regular and they knew you tipped well, they always did a bang-up job doing your car. Hope you enjoy your stay in L.A., Steve – very different from New York.
Casey wrote on 04/15/09 at 9:12 pm :

The House of Blues on Sunset also has bathroom attendants.
IT Guy wrote on 04/16/09 at 11:23 am :

South Beach Bar and Grill in OB, you hit the nail on the head, best ones in San Diego along with the best beer.

Great Cigar place in La Mesa named Hoffers too.
Anonymous wrote on 04/17/09 at 6:48 am :

I just finished the book. Loved it, can’t wait for more.
schmutzie wrote on 04/17/09 at 10:58 am :

This website is being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/04/five-star-friday-edition-50.html
Bob Dobbs wrote on 04/17/09 at 3:39 pm :

Chandler wouldn’t know LA at first… but after the glitz wore off, he’d recognize the bleak city of broken dreams that he once knew.

Try to get up to the Bay Area if you can; whole different scene. I don’t say better; but different. I’d be really interested in you insights on the service industries in Silicon Valley.
Duckie wrote on 04/18/09 at 3:30 pm :

I know you blogged about this awhile ago, but I finally understand what you mean about those porn slappers! I just got home (well I’m not home yet but that’s a horse of a different color…) from Vegas and we made a trading card game out of it.
delraygrrrl wrote on 04/19/09 at 1:17 am :

Off the subject, but I just found this — sorry if it’s been posted already…

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090418/ap_on_fe_st/odd_bogus_waiter

Luv ya & wish you could squeeze in a book signing in the OC.
well done fillet wrote on 04/19/09 at 7:58 pm :

get yer ass to Ireland……I’ll tell ya a few tales……
kim wrote on 04/19/09 at 11:36 pm :

Are you coming to the REAL California, up north?
I used to have a patient who tipped me every time I cleaned his teeth.
Sasha wrote on 04/19/09 at 11:39 pm :

I miss you waiting tables. You always had such interesting stories to tell. But I suppose after nine years, you have to move on. But a writer’s lifestyle will get boring too, you know….
cheap diamond dental burs wrote on 04/20/09 at 3:19 am :

Just happened upon your site today. Very interesting, I learned some interesting things. Lance
deena wrote on 04/21/09 at 8:26 pm :

*TAP* *TAP* *TAP* This thing on!?
CityBluz wrote on 04/23/09 at 2:54 pm :

HOW many years in the biz and you still can’t spell “restaurant” correctly???
Mike wrote on 04/27/09 at 3:31 pm :

If you’re still in the area, I can get you into Disneyland for free! It’d be nice to meet you.
Петропавловск секс по телефону wrote on 05/11/09 at 1:31 pm :

огромное спасибо!
Krupin wrote on 05/14/09 at 1:02 pm :

Благодарен. Появилась оригинальная мысль, но нуждается в подробной реорганизации моей идеи, займусь на днях. Естественно результатами поделюсь с читателями блога!
holls wrote on 08/8/09 at 4:15 am :

Hodad’s in ocean beach (south of seaworld in san diego) has REALLY delicious burger place. Plus you can check out the longest pier in the west coast. also on the pier there is a little restaurant with the friendliest waitress there…i think she’s one of the few who leads the oxymoronic life of a stress-free waitress. You only get that in ocean beach.

hrm…i just realized that this was posted months ago but if you’re ever in the area again, make a stop to ocean beach (ob for locals).
terry starcher wrote on 03/2/10 at 9:18 pm :

hay Daria, its terry from the tilted kilt in tampa. i still want you to teach me some more russian. my email is terrystarcher@aol.com and my phone # is (863)528-1890. give me a shout.

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