Phone Skills. Some have ’em. Some don’t.

Saturday. 5:30pm. The phone rings. “Hello, The Bistro, how may I help you?” “I want a reservation at 7:30.” a gruff cell distorted voice barks. “How many in your party?” I reply sweetly. “Two.” I can hear car horns honking in the background “Let me see what’s...

It’s only food!

I am standing by a table, patiently waiting, while a woman mulls over the menu for the umpteenth time. They’ve been sitting for forty-five minutes, drunken two rounds of martinis, and I’ve repeated the specials five times. The other guests, fidgeting with the...

Sieg Heil!

I am waiting on a table of Europeans, Germans to be exact, and they’re busy trashing the good old US of A. When you wait tables you might as well be wearing an invisibility cloak because customers talk like you’re not even there. These guys didn’t care I’m standing...

Yeah I put in a tip jar

Some of you are looking at that PayPal donation button and thinking, “Great, another sellout.” What the hell else did you expect? I’m a waiter. I live on tips. If you throw me a buck that would be great. If you don’t that’s fine too. I...

Holy Shit it’s Alec Baldwin!

You know celebrity is an interesting thing. Why are we so interested in their lives, what they wear, who they sleep with? What gives them their “power?” I mean you have to admit we live in a celebrity obsessed culture. Just look at the J-Lo/Affleck shitstorm. John...