The Great Dane

“I’m gonna kill him.” “Take a breath,” I reply. “Calm down.” “I’m gonna kill his entire family,” the big man sputters. “And after I kill him I’m gonna strangle his children and rape his mother.” The man’s words push against me like an angry wave. My stomach clenches...

Ask the Waiter – Tell Tale Signs

Waiter, I have been reading your blog for quite a while and really enjoy your stories… My question is: What are the tell-tales for a bad restaurant vs. a good one? What kinds of things signal that this may be a $100 a plate establishment but they aren’t...

Ask the Waiter – Foreigners!

Dear Waiter If someone with a foreign accent forgets to tip, do most waitstaff realize that tipping isn’t a universal practice outside the US and forgive them, or do they get angry about it? Trust me, we get angry about it. This is how we get paid. It’s your...

How to Score with a Waitress

This is the first “guest blogger” to be published on Waiter Rant. If all goes well and the submissions are good, I’ll publish one a week. Enjoy! How to Score with a Waitress – Ella Lawrence I was asked out by my last table at The Bistro last...

Update

As some of you might’ve already guessed, I quit my restaurant job. To protect my anonymity I’ll just say I quit before Mother’s Day. To reveal any other time details might risk exposing me and the restaurant I was working for. And to answer the question before it’s...