Here are the top ten quotes from the lovely customers I had the pleasure of serving this Labor Day Weekend.
1) I want Diet Coke in my Absolut. Not a Diet Coke and Absolut.
2) I want a Cosmo. Not a lot of fruity stuff! And don’t be cheap with the vodka!
3) This Apple Strudel’s not what my mother used to make. I don’t want it! Send it back!
4) This salad looks like a circumcision. (It was a cured beef Carpaccio, actually)
5) Give him a nice tip. He didn’t fuck up our order.
6) Excuse us waiter, we’re talking about lubrication.
7) Our waitress has too much hair.
8) My gift certificate expired two years ago. Can I still use it?
9) I don�t think the waitress understood our order. Those people usually don’t speak English well. (Waitress is Latina)
10) This food’s so good I’d stick my dick in it.
You can�t make this stuff up.